Educated: A Memoir

This amazing book, destined to be a classic, kept me up at night and then well into the following day. It should be required reading for courses in psychology , counseling and family therapy. The memoir is of a young girl in a family of 7 children in a survivalist Mormon family. The patriarch was mentally ill, possibly bipolar. He used his extreme interpretation of Mormonism to emotionally abuse, bully and intimidate each member of the family including his long suffering and submissive wife. He was "better" than the rest whom he called gentiles and Illiterati. By claiming a direct line to God, the father achieved a power over his family that defies the imagination. He .had bouts of mania when he took chances with their safety and well being. But God would protect them.. Repeatedly he refused common sense protection of his family. God would protect them. His depressive bouts left him bedridden while requiring the family to take him to see his parents in Arizona to recover. He was catered to and idolized. Defying him was defying God. Women, especially, came in for his scorn. They were little more than indentured servants. As with so many of these male dominated groups, the women were perceived as temptresses and whores. Freud would have had a field day with that perception. The mother appeared to have pseudo insight but was incapable of supporting her children in the face of incomprehensible emotional and physical abuse.; The existence of this family within a Mormon community yet so outside the boundaries of reasonable Mormon tenants begs the question: what responsibility does the broader community have to protect vulnerable children? This is not about Mormonism but a small community and extended family in Idaho that turned away and ignored neglect and abuse when children did not have birth certificates, were not schooled even at home, were not immunized, not taken to doctors, were repeatedly seriously injured, were dressed in filthy rags, and were told the Government and Medical Establishment was the enemy... The enemy was actually within that home. The enemy was this very mentally ill and destructive father. I think of the Turpin family, abusing their children but hidden. This family was neglectful in plain sight. The litany of serious injuries sustained by the children was chilling as was the father's cavalier dismissal of their safety. But willful neglect was one thing, sustained and brutal sibling abuse is quite another. All dysfunctional families have lies they tell themselves, their teachers, authority figures, extended family etc. e;g;, yes, we are home - schooled (not). They have secrets. . But the worst secret and lie that persisted like a rotting cancer was the denial of severe physical abuse inflicted on several of the siblings over the years by one extraordinarily disturbed son. The son would have murderous rages and then the apologies would start...the injured sibling was forced to forgive. Classic spousal abuse but in this case it was a sibling causing the abuse who should have been removed from the family, placed in a treatment program. Instead no one talked about it, the siblings didn't tell each other what had happened until they compared notes as adults and most horrific of all, the parents denied it happened, demanded "proof" and allowed this monster of a son to continue abusing girlfriends, his wife, his dog Diego.(I would have had him locked up for life for just this part of the story). .. In the end, the parents and this sibling bullied the family into staying silent. Only the daughter, with great effort, recognized what was going on. She made many attempts to connect with her parents but they pulled closer into their delusions. This daughter, extraordinarily intelligent and determined escapes, becomes well educated but pays a price, doubting herself up until almost the end, The writing was clear and perceptive. The author has survived but the story is still chilling. Sometimes children from an abusive background only survive with a "parentectomy". I do wonder if the story is finished. The sadistic bully of a son now has a family of his own (wife and two children) that he has shown himself willing to abuse.

There are two types of popular books, one is the kind that gets a lot of hype and fanfare and sits on bestseller lists for months but ultimately falls short of all the acclaim. Second is the kind that simply lives up to your greatest expectations -- even if you were skeptical of all the aforementioned hype and fanfare to begin with. Educated is solidly, well written and exquisitely told story of survival and ultimately, success. I was skeptical because Educated stares at me from The New York Times, week after week on the bestseller list—everyone seems to have either heard of it, has read it or wants to read it. How can it be that good? Or is it just good, in the common mainstream way that some books are? But Tara Westover has written a powerful and heart-searing story about the abuse and dysfunction she experienced growing up with her wildly eccentric and religious family. Her upbringing is a far cry from what a normal childhood looks like; Tara never went to public schools and yet managed to study at Cambridge and complete her PHD at Harvard. Who wouldn’t want such a success story? But more on that in a moment. Tara Westover’s emotional story broke my heart even as she tells it in a very matter of fact style. She’s raw and honest about her own self and shortcomings, she turns the lens on herself many times in the book, shining a light on her own bad behaviors and choices. Her story is shocking, infuriating and at times just plain, disturbing, but I couldn’t stop reading it. I didn’t feel it was redundant at all, although you can say, many of the same bad things happen to her over and over again; car accidents, freak accidents in the junkyard, physical and verbal abuse from her older brother and worst of all, the sheer lack of protection she had from her parents. The hardest thing to grasp about Tara’s story is how easily her parents did not protect her from so much, time and time again. To come from all that and to be as articulate as she is and as grounded as she seems is astonishing. Just pull up an interview of Tara Westover talking to Oprah or Ellen DeGeneres and you’ll find yourself thinking what a lovely person she appears to be. She doesn’t seem fueled with anger or overcome with emotion, she holds herself upright gracefully and tells her truth, straight. She doesn’t even talk badly about all of the ones who have hurt her so deeply. I believe that is a testament to who Tara Westover is as a person. As far as her education, I read the many naysayer comments barking about her “too good to be true” Ivy League education and dismissing or denying how she could have not gone to public school and gotten a high school education before going off to these colleges based on what little education and home schooling she did have. I admit, it does sound too good to be true…but in some cases, some people just have what it takes; the talent, the brains, the drive and determination and the luck to get far in life. I think Tara always had it in her and the people who met her, the bishop and the professors who supported and encouraged her, felt very strongly about what Tara was capable of and I think they helped her as much as they could along the way. I think they wrote recommendation letters, persuaded her numerous times to apply for grants and funding and to take her knowledge as far as it could go. I think it was easy to see in Tara, a success story of sorts. She’s someone who transformed themselves into who she was meant to be, someone who could change her life (if not her story or her past) and transcend even her wildest dreams. I admire Tara and her success and applaud her for telling such a raw story—even if it meant risking estrangement from the people she loves. Tara Westover has written a brilliant story and proves what a good writer she is. A good story in the hands of a bad writer would not end up being as beloved and popular as Educated is. As far as I can see, she was meant to have all her success.

"All my father's stories were about our mountain, our valley, our jagged little patch of Idaho. He never told me what to do if I left the mountain, if I crossed oceans and continents and found myself in strange terrain, ... he never told me how I'd know when it was time to come home." "Everything I had worked for, all my years of study, had been to purchase for myself this one privilege: to see and experience more truths than those given to me by my father, and to use those truths to construct my own mind." Educated is a memoir that followed Tara Westover as she struggled to determine who she was and how she fit into her family as well as the broader world. She was raised in a rural mountain valley with her survivalist family. Her father was mentally unstable and abusive to his children and her mother did little to intervene. Tara was not provided with any formal education beyond being taught to read and a bit of basic arithmetic. She knew little to nothing of the outside world. Over time, Tara starts to question her upbringing and seeks more for herself than her mountain provided. This book was difficult to read in terms of the danger and abuse that Tara and her siblings endured. Honestly, her family introduced me to a whole new level of dysfunction and some parts of the book felt like watching a train wreck, unable to look away. However, that made what Tara and a few of her siblings overcame all the more amazing. As a result, their accomplishments were nothing short of a miracle. As a former teacher, I was impressed by Tara's awakening to a world outside of her mountain, her quest for knowledge, and what she was able to independently learn and accomplish. Her self-doubts, mental struggles, and setbacks were heart-breaking. There were scenes in the book where I was shouting "Don't go back to the mountain, don't do it - oh why did you go back?" Reading this book was a bit of an emotional roller coaster but seeing Tara ultimately became the person she wanted to be, against all odds, was definitely worth the ride. Tara's voice is raw and unflinching from the harsh realities of her life. Yet, the book is still beautifully written and difficult to put down. She has a meaningful story to tell and Educated is a worthwhile read.

The family in this book is the same religion as me, but the way they choose to live it is on a whole different planet. In fact, they are part of a very small percentage of crazies who, I’m convinced, give the religion a bad name. I am very happy Tara made it out of there alive. I’m very proud of Tara for the work that she has done & the education she received. This book was very thought-provoking and well written.

Everyone should read this compelling memoir of a brilliant scholar who overcame absolutely unbelievable circumstances in her quest for knowledge and fulfillment. Dr. Westover has written an extremely insightful book and I was deeply moved in every chapter. You won't be able to put this one down!! Thanks, Dr. Westover, for baring your soul and the excruciating experiences of your life which formed you into the brilliant scholar and human being that you are now. As a professional educator for over 50 years, the transformation of a person's life through delving into knowledge was really driven home to me. My wife and I thoroughly enjoyed reading your work!

I finished Educated by Tara Westover, and this memoir was an absolute masterpiece. It made me feel everything—anger, warmth, heartbreak, admiration, and, at times, deep conflict. From early in Tara’s story, it seemed clear that her father struggled with untreated mental health issues. However, because her family distrusted modern medicine, his behavior was never properly addressed. I was also furious with her brother Shawn. Watching Tara endure his abusive behavior while others denied, excused, or minimized it was both heartbreaking and infuriating. What moved me most was watching Tara bet on herself. Although she was terrified, she found the courage to pursue an education and eventually became the person she was never given the freedom to imagine. She questioned everything she had been taught, investigated conflicting information for herself, and discovered that many of the “truths” she had inherited were never true at all. Parts of Tara’s childhood resonated deeply with some of my own experiences growing up, which made this memoir incredibly personal for me. It also illuminated a much broader issue: what happens when people fear knowledge, reject education, and convince themselves that medicine and technology exist to harm them. Educated is not simply a memoir about attending university. It is about surviving abuse, questioning inherited beliefs, reclaiming your own mind, and accepting that becoming yourself may require grieving and even losing the people you love. This was a definite five-star masterpiece and a memoir I believe everyone should read.

This was one of our book club selections and I had no idea what it was about. To be honest after the first couple of chapters I was not so sure I'd want to finish it, but suddenly I was hooked and what a journey it was. It had a profound effect on me. I don't personally know anyone touched by this extreme level of disfunction, but I do believe way too many of us can trace the lines of generational abuse as it swings though each generation onto the next. Westover was quite eloquent and I applaud her courage and commitment to put pen to paper and publish. I listened to this book on audio CD. The young woman who read ( I apologize I don't have her name at hand) was articulate and able to modulated acting with memoir, making the listening easy and seamlessly fitted into the saga of this amazing woman's as she pieced together from childhood memories the sense of what had happen, to forming her own escape from trauma into a wider, healthier, more fulfilling life allowing her genius, gifts and talents to blossom and bear fruit. She paid heavily pursuing this path, but I for one drew great benefit from having heard it.

“In families like mine there is no crime worse than telling the truth.” —Tara Westover What does it mean to be educated? This book will make you think about what it really means to have an education—to be free to form your own opinions—and if the risks and sacrifices one might have to make in pursuit of knowledge, are worth it in the end. It’s message will both inspire and disturb you, and haunt you in your dreams. Educated is the true story about the author, Tara Westover, growing up in an isolated, dysfunctional, survivalist family with radical views, who, in contrast, live on a beautiful mountain in Idaho. As the youngest child in a family of seven—5 boys and 2 girls—Tara’s story is both heartbreaking and inspirational. Due to their father’s extreme political, religious, and moral beliefs, Tara and her siblings were not given access to medical attention or public education, nor did her parents believe in anything government related, believing it to be a system of brainwashing. The book is fairly well written and deeply poignant. It is definitely hard to put down, but it is also extremely disturbing on so many levels. There are plot holes and some timeline inconsistencies, and some horrific parts that are so emotional that they are difficult to imagine, let alone read. Tara’s experiences with her older brother, Shawn—whom she understandably both loved and hated—were not only shocking, they were heartbreaking. Equally appalling is the fact that ultimately most of the family chose to ignore or hide Shawn’s violent, unstable, abusive behavior and death threats, also choosing not to confront their father about it, even though both parents, admittedly the mother, knew what had been going on. They choose to protect it with a blind eye, possibly out of some kind of misguided family loyalty, shame, and more than likely, fear. But like Tara’s brother, Tyler, wrote in a letter to her: “This is a perverted idea of family loyalty. They claim faith, but this is not what the gospel teaches.” Once committed, Tyler never wavered in telling their truth, though it changed his relationship with his father. However, the only true hero of the story is Tara herself. Personally, I feel badly for Tara’s mother who appears to have been trapped and manipulated by her choices in a clouded vision of love, trying to keep peace. I also feel badly for Tara’s father, who was obviously in need of psychological and medical intervention. And I feel badly for each of Tara’s siblings and feel they probably coped in different ways with the only life and family they had known. None of us can really judge Tara or understand her family without having walked in their shoes. However, it is a sad fact that abusers and their enablers distort reality for their victims in order to cover up their crimes, so what Tara was able to accomplish—coming from her unhealthy broken environment—is truly remarkable!! Whether or not we become like our parents, is a choice we can all make. We can love and forgive those who have harmed us, without following in their footsteps. May this book help others in the same situation, to recognize psychological and physical abuse wrapped up in the arms of love, and find their own healing voice to break free! “You are not fool’s gold, shining only under a particular light. Whomever you become, whatever you make yourself into, that is who you always were. It was always in you. … You are gold.” —Tara Westover, Educated: A Memoir NOTE: It should be noted that the so called “Mormon” doctrine Tara was exposed to in her home, is not reflective in any way to the Christ-like loving teachings of the restored Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Tara’s view of religion was experienced through the eyes of her manipulative, controlling father, who was suffering from a bipolar type mental illness, although she didn’t know it at the time. Her father’s skewed view of religion unknowingly created numerous misconceptions in the home in which Tara was raised. All good things, when taken to an extreme, then mixed with the paranoia and darkness of mental illness, can turn good into evil.

Adorei o livro. A história é incrível. Uma menina, que é educada em casa, passa no vestibular e conta suas memórias familiares, da universidade e, depois, do seu doutorado em Cambridge. É uma trajetória impressionante. A rotina familiar é maluca. O pai um mórmon radical que vê comunistas debaixo da cama. Não admite que os filhos frequentem as escolas para não serem contaminados pela "doutrina socialista". Da mesma forma, não permite o uso de medicamentos, muito menos de ir se tratar em um hospital. A mãe, uma parteira, prepara "poções mágicas" para todo tipo de doença. Por incrível que pareça, a família se torna um sucesso comercial e renega a filha bem educada. A experiência de uma jovem aluna, sem nenhum contato prévio com a escola, nas salas de uma universidade é contada de forma agradável e engraçada. Para um professor, como eu, percebe-se uma autonomia muito maior nas universidades americanas quando comparadas com as nossas. O apoio da igreja, do estado e de bons professores é determinante no seu progresso. O livro é um sucesso. Foi recomendado pelo Bill Gates e pelo Obama. Eu também recomendo fortemente.

A bit intense at times, but very interesting reading

This is one of the most memorable books I’ve ever read.! It is interesting and so well written. Is a very intimate and honest read. With non pretentious notes. The second part is more agile than the first, but the book in the whole is amazing. I liked so much as is this portrait of a family living in a religious community and how a girl so in need of learning and reading and being educated, deals with so much prejudice and social pressure. After I finished the book I was so interested that I went on line to watch Tara Westover interviews and talks about her autobiographical experience. One of the books I will definitely remember for ever.

This book is a must to read for everyone. Westover's writing is superb and demonstrates themes of struggles and overcoming said struggles. Before this book, I used to believe that symbolism was a lazy writing method, but the way Westover writes with it is absolutely amazing. Even as you read the last chapter, you still fondly remember all the details from chapter 1.

Histoire incroyable d’une famille de Mormons dans l’Utah. Édifiant.