Getting The Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

There are times in life when you can get what you need from a book, and times when another approach is needed. If you are a couple experiencing difficulties but are both committed to doing something to improve matters then this is a great book. Full of fun exercises and new ways to communicate that circumnavigate old patterns. There is no sense of losing ground to the other person, just a sense of there being plenty for both of you, at least that was my experience. Harville Hendrix has a hugh wealth of experience and it's a joy to draw on it for such a bargain price. It's rare to find a self-help book that works, but this is one.

I had this book recommended to me by two very reliable people. I have just finished it and shall be starting the workbook in the new year.This book is very well written and based on decades of working with the subject. Here is a man who knows his stuff and shares his own mistakes that he has made along the way.All I can say is that it is a breath of fresh air to have someone speak such good sense on the subject. All the things resonate with me and many have been my own observations as well. I am really looking forward to getting my teeth stuck into the workbook, even though it may be scary. Nothing ventured, nothing gained! At least his sensible attitude and manner of explaining the techniques in the book are very reassuring. And from what I gather from other people I know - this does actually work. Great stuff!

This book was recommended to help my husband and I hone our communication skills within our marriage. Although the book has some unproven theories in it, the exercises at the back have been really helpful. By working at them, we are beginning to communicate far more effectively and are beginning to understand why some things 'press our buttons' and get us agitated for, what seems to the other person, no logical reason.I think you have to be in a basically sound and loving relationship for this book to be helpful. It could make things even more stressful if not.

We are Using it alongside the online course . It is good

Just finished Part's 1 & 2 and have to say it's really helped me get a clearer view of the issues my partner and I face in our relationship. We're engaged and have been together for 3.5 years - you don't need to be married to take something away from this book and I would also recommend it for anyone who wants to have a greater understanding of how behaviours impact our relationships. Part 3 is exercises for you and your partner to complete over a number of week. He is going to read Part's 1 & 2 before we attempt Part 3 together. A great read and I am hopeful that Part 3 will help turn some of the theories into practice and in turn, improve our relationship. One things for sure - you've both got to be 100% IN for any kind of therapy to work. Same applies here - no quick fixes - it takes a lot of work.

Not only does everything in this book make sense, I found it readable, honest, not overly complicated and above all doable! Some of the ideas may be slightly over simplified, I guess with the aim of making it applicable generally, and it's a book, not therapy! I've been able to take the general concepts and refine them to met my particular situation. The exercises are excellent. Well worth reading and well worth applying to any relationship.

The best and most useful book written on relationships. I use the Imago exercise with my therapy clients and it knocks them sideways - giving them insights and understandings entirely new (and shocking) to them. This book changes lives. If you are in relationship with another breathing / living human being and are finding it irksome, you should read this book.If you don't live in the US, you may struggle a little with the somewhat schmaltzy tone and folksy language .... but persevere. It is truly,magnificently worth it.

A really good guide for both professionals working with couples and couples wanting to understand why they are drawn to certain types of personalities. It clearly outlines steps to take in order to improve your relationship. A workbook is also available, which is an excellent resource for professionals, although it would be better if it was bound so you could photocopy the exercises.It's an easy, informative read, difficult to put down!

This is a great book, it teaches you how to ask questions thoughtfully and how to respond to others with love and compassion.

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With around 50% of marriages failing, it is pretty clear that many people are doing something wrong when it comes to chosing their mates. This book explains why people are so often drawn to those who challenge and,ultimately, also frustrate them..and how to turn many difficult relationships into successful ones. HOW does the author do this. In a nutshell:1. First, he makes readers aware of the possible unconscious forces that drive most of us to be attracted to those we love. This isn't a "quick fix" or "bandaid" type of psychology. Instead, it is filled with the type of insights that motivate readers to truly examine their own lives and to understand how their experiences guide the choices they make when selecting lovers and mates.2. That knowledge - about how one's past affects one's present and future - puts readers "in the driver's seat", no longer held fast by patterns of attraction that aren't clearly understood. Suddenly relationships, past and present, begin to make sense, especially when viewed in light of one's entire life.3. Armed with that knowledge, couples have a chance to really build a committed, solid relationship and to acknowledge why we are attracted by certain, often challenging, people - and why that might even be a POSITIVE thing, if handled the right way. Admittedly, there may be some very painful bumps in the road (good relationships often take hard work)..and there is the real risk of breakup, divorce, the end of a relationship. Awareness does not automatically lead to a successful relationship. Some relationships still end. But whether your marriage or relationship ultimately succeeds or fails, reading this book is likely to up your chances of building a solid, strong and committed relationship in the long run. This is a standout from The crowd when it comes to similar types of books. It is thought-provoking, enlightening and well worth reading. It should be required reading for many marriage prep classes.

The best single relationship book I have ever read. I was so impressed by it that I have used it in several classes. Hendrix considers that we fall in love with people who our unconscious minds tell us can help us complete our unfinished business from childhood. He explains why opposites attract -- and why those differences then begin to drive us crazy. By the middle of the book, you are ready to despair--but then he devotes the second half to the solution, the "conscious marriage." He gets very specific, with a couples quiz that can however be taken by one partner alone; suggestions; recommendations; and--exercises. Anyone who puts in even half the requested effort will end up, at the very least, knowing a good deal more about his or her partner.The book is not perfect. Deliberately aimed at a popular audience, the writing is sometimes too simplified. There are links and connections that can be inferred, but that are not spelled out in the book. And HH's optimistic methods are not likely to work for the deeply disturbed or traumatized individual, simply because the degree of change called for is too great.I give this book to every couple I know, straight or gay, who are getting married.

It was a gift for a love one, I am also reading it myself. Very interesting. I had heard Alanis Morissette and Oprah talking about the book.