On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families Paperback – August 12, 2014

Dr Kubler-Ross is a hero of mine. To the point that I did an assessment on her life and discovered a headstrong child who wanted to FEEL what life was like.She grew up in Switzerland during WWII, an identical twin in a triplet birth. She grew up unrecognised as an individual, part of the circus of attention that triplets bring. When she was 16 and the war had ended, she walked to Russia and back again, working in the reconstruction of post-war Europe.She stood in the doorway to the chambers at Maidanek, a Polish concentration camp. She looked at the wooden walls, etched with last messages and images of butterflies symbolising life after death. She met a 16 year old Jewish survivor ~ only survived because she was unable to fit into the chamber that stole the lives of her family. Elisabeth asked her about her hatred of her captors and the girl replied something about not strewing the seeds of hate, that we all have an inner Hitler when we are faced with our own mortality.With that, she went to medical school in Zurich, met an American student, married him and moved to America. She turned her focus from pediatrics to psychology, and began to notice how terminal patients were virtually ignored in hospitals ~ as though dying was something to be ashamed of. She began to visit patients, sitting with them as they talked, listening to their needs and their stories, finding that there is a wealth of wisdom in those frail people.Dr Kubler-Ross believed in the dignity of living with dying. She polished the art of listening to the needs of terminal patients, how to allow them to pass with tenderness and non-intervention. To make dying a time of preciousness and honour. She taught me how to be present for my mother when she died.When I got the call that Mama needed me, I didn't know what to do. As I packed to take the plane over land and oceans to go home to Delaware, I brought 'On Death and Dying', I brought a Ram Dass recording "Here We all Are" and a Crowded House cd with 'Fall at Your Feet'. Each one was instrumental in helping me give my mother a loving, hands-on, joyful exodus from the pain of cancer.I recommend this book highly. Not only for assisting with a peaceful death, but as a sufferer of the grief of losing someone who meant the world to me. Kubler-Ross' Five Stages eventually became a recognised Psychological Theory on the Five Stages of Grief. Worthwhile to read once, enlightening to read over and over again.

My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 1979. Back then treatments were horrible; it was almost harder to watch her suffer than her actual death). She died 2 months later from the date she was diagnosed (10/29/79 - 12/29/79. I was not functioning; I was lost, I was having all these new feelings. A friend suggested reading On Death and Dying.This book saved me from lying down and dying myself. It is THE book which guides you through the stages of grief you go through when a friend or loved one is dying, died or after their death. Learning the stages of grief allowed me the ability to function. It grounded me, my thoughts were no longer going in circles, and I was able to concentrate again. I have since read it probably 4 times - when relatives died. It helped as much the last time I read it, as it did the first.Since then, I have given at least 10 books to friends. I purchased this one for a friend who lost her mother to cancer, just after her husband was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer - just like my mom. All agreed this book helped them more than any other book or therapist (because it's available 24/7). You’ll read and re-read the stages of grief to get you through the difficult time of losing someone. I wish I knew of this book as soon as she was diagnosed. The pain of losing mom didn’t change, but I was able to get through it much better for having read it.I know I would not have been able to go back to college without the knowledge learned from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

I recommend that everyone read this book. It really helps to understand the stages people go through.

There were things I liked and others I didn't. All the information was really good, the biggest issue were the interviews. There were too long. I get the need of them, but it feel like I was just reading the interactions and there there wasn't much else explained about it. Overall it was a really good book.

Well written book!

The book highlights many aspects of death that we should learn and internalize, offering valuable insights that become even more meaningful before death is at our doorstep. It also teaches us how to navigate difficult times, such as dealing with malignancy, with our family and friends. Highly recommended.

This is the most critical look at the phases we all go through as those we love face the ultimate challenge, or we face it ourselves. The personal experience mixed with the clinical knowledge makes this the book to have to navigate final issues. I give this to grieving friends.

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