Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected

This has been the answer to my prayers. Since I have been having so much frustration with my son and my husband I noticed it had turned to stress. I thought it was my job to make my kids be well mannered and awesome. This book took me out of the equation in that roll and taught me how to be the sounding board, how to "be the captain of my ship" and how to empathize (anyone can say "be empathetic"). Every chapter is amazing easy to read - outlined - elaborated on - and recapped. She spoke of the difference between an ADD-ish person - the "hunter" and the repetitive / steady-as-she-goes-person the "farmer". The model showed me the difference between my son and myself - why each of us approach life the way we do. It showed me how to separate my belief in my abilities to parent from his challenges growing up and how to not blame myself or him for any of it - to stop judging myself and him and help him learn by listening to him - to just hear his reasons for stuff. I would always use logic and think "what the heck are you thinking" and assume he is crazy and he should think my way. It's really amazing cuz I've learned a lot about him in one week just by being quiet and asking him questions and listening to his answers! I've read and listened and agree with Love and Logic - but this book takes it a step farther - it tells you how to do it and the reasoning behind it. I also am finally talking to my husband more about raising our kids. It have really taken the pressure off. Thank you!

This is the best parenting book I have ever read. I have read many many parenting books over the past 15 years and this is by a long shot the BEST book I have read on this subject. Susan Stiffelman writes a book that is easy to read and follow. Her suggestions on how to raise your children makes so much sense and her advice is so logical. Her advice on how to connect with your children has helped me look at how to relate to my teenagers in a way I never thought would be so invaluable. It's so simple at the same time too. Her advice is so logical because she is offering a way to connect and relate to your children in a way that you do with your friends and significant others. You don't just demand that your friend or significant other do something, you have a certain connection with them and a way to ask them to do something that doesn't put him/her on the defensive. Her advice just turned on the light for me and has helped me more than any other book or child specialist I have sought out advice from. I had the pleasure of hearing her speak at a school one evening and she is impressed me with how down to earth, personable and approachable she is. She is a pure delight and her advice is invaluable. Thank you Susan!!!

I'm a mom of 4 little boys, ages 3 to 9, and I read this looking for new tools and tricks in my parenting toolbag, and a new perspective. I had lost my way a little in the chaos of daily logistics. This book was difficult, in that I realized I've been doing a lot of things wrong. However, I have been poring over it like it's my daily homework, underlining and simplifying and writing out a synopsis, and it's been helping me soften a lot in my approach to my children. I love that she has the Byron Katie method in here. I didn't think of applying it to parenting, but it makes total sense. In just the couple of weeks that I've been reading this book, just implementing some of the techniques and approaches has brought me more joy with my children. I'm pretty sure that I will always let my children argue with me like a lawyer. Sorry, but that's just my personality. I have trouble feeling like my decisions are set in stone unless it is about something very serious.

I liked the book because the author was clear and gave excellent case studies on how to open up dialogue with the child instead of shut it down with "old school" mentality that does not relate well with the issues kids are dealing with today. I especially liked the flow of the book and the foundation grounds that must be in tact before any change in behavior can be restructured. All theories and ideals with not work for all children, but if readers or parents are willing to try different methods in parenting, this is a very good book to have in the library. It was an easy read and I am practicing the technique that stood out most for me ... that kids can not have a power struggle if you refuse to engage ... so far I am having very good outcomes!

I am a social worker and parent educator. I've read many parenting books, and this one is by far one of the best. It's different in a very good way. This book does not leave you trying to remember facts; rather it leaves you a changed person who has a new and real grasp of the valuable concepts she teaches, such as going "alongside" your children instead of dealing with them head on. Instead of trying to control or manage our children she teaches us to understand their side, why they do what they do, how to respond to what they do and say, how to connect with them and develop a strong attachment with them so that they naturally want to cooperate with us. It's not permissive parenting that some people associate with new age parenting. Susan wants parents to be "captain of the ship" while being a very safe adult children can depend on for understanding and guidance. The real life examples and dialogues are very helpful. I use her book in my classes and highly recommend it to all parents.

Susan spoke to the parent body at my son's school and I was hooked out of curiousity and need. She used audience members to demonstrate concepts. It just so happens I knew the parents and kids, (no relation to each other or me) so I knew it wasn't scripted. I had been having major communication challenges with my high school senior son, (who chose to hang out with friends instead of attending the session). The kid in the demo said he actually felt better using the Act 1 and Act 2 process. I saw myself consistently going straight to Act 2 and frustration! On the ride home the usual process began, but I caught myself and said out loud Act 1. Then I did it! It worked! We didn't end up with the usual frustration and stony silence or me lecturing the rest of the way home. I am still using the process EXCEPT when I fall back into the old habits and our relationship is much improved. Great book, great process, immediately applicable, anyone can use it!

I bought this book after Glennon from Momastery.com recommended it as the ONLY parenting book she has read from cover to cover. :) I loved this book! It was easy to read and understand. The concepts are simple and I felt they were all the things I already knew but need help and reminders as to how to implement these ideas into our daily, chaotic life. As I read through the book I found myself feeling calmer and easily putting some of her tips into practice. I am about to read through it a second time. It will take more than once or twice before I am able to really remember and put into practice all her suggestions, but it's worth it. I can already see a change in our house! Aside from basic, everyday parenting practices, the book also contains several good suggestions for dealing with larger problems such as anxiety, depression, anger, etc. I found her writing style to be well organized, simple and clear to understand. This book is a must read!

I read this book hoping it will give me some advise about how to raise a better kid and how to be a better parrent. I have to addmit that I have learned some good advise from this book but I was expected more. The author just has filled the book with lots of text and questions she got durng her counseling sessions with parrents and her answers to other people's problems that may not be yours per say. So I suggest you invest in another parrenting book if you really want to just read one book and be happy. This book is good but is not great. Hope this help.

I found this book to be a powerful guide in how to parent children effectively in todays world with modern values regarding raising children.

Bought as a gift

Learn good tips to help with your children and teens

Such a great book. Really recommend this book for all new parents!

Dieses Buch hat wirklich hilfreiche Ratschläge und zwar zu allen Bereichen und Problemen, die mit einem Kind auftreten können und zwar im Alter von ca. drei Jahren bis ins Teenageralter. Es verbessert wirklich die Beziehung zu dem Kind, schon bevor man das Buch fertig gelesen hat. Die Strategie ist völlig gewaltfrei und echt wirkungsvoll, weil schon die kleinsten Änderungen das gegenseitige Vertrauen stärken und die Kompromissbereitschaft des Kindes erhöhen. Natürlich muss man Geduld mitbringen und die mutige Entscheidung treffen können, auch an sich selbst zu arbeiten, aber wenn man sich darauf einlässt bewirkt es wirklich Wunder