The 5 Apology Languages: The Secret to Healthy Relationships

Really useful explanation of ways people think about forgiveness.

When you realize how human we all are and how many mistakes we make on the path to perfection you can see why learning to forgive is a huge social skill for maintaining relationships that are worthwhile! Learning to apologize is a whole other level in this book and you will benefit greatly from learning to be that humble. I remember one time I wrote an apology email and that helped start up a friendship again. I have also printed out real apology letters and sent them to people. That saved relationships with relatives too. Mostly I'd say I apologize for being unforgiving at the start. Then I seem to come around to that idea later and rebuild the failing relationship.I would say that when you offer forgiveness it is mostly for your benefit but can also take the weight off someone else's shoulders. I don't believe the author is correct in saying you don't need to forgive unless someone apologizes. Jesus stated to forgive time and time again. I can promise you I've forgiven people who have never apologized to me and it has benefited me greatly and freed me from worry and stress. To not forgive someone is almost unbearable after a while because your conscience will hassle you over and over again until you give in. Jesus definitely stated that God would not forgive you if you do not forgive others. So it is like one of the most serious things ever!So yes, this book is essential reading for anyone who has relationships that they value greatly. So many people are stuck in cycles of unforgiveness and some are unwilling to ask for forgiveness too. Really the whole process is freeing for everyone involved and shows there is hope even in the worst of situations. Perhaps the highlight of this book is the part about forgiving yourself. How we all need to hear that!!!! I think sometimes we learn our greatest lessons when we forgive or ask for forgiveness! I am so grateful to authors for writing books like this that genuinely assist people to live a much more fulfilling life! I am happy I've been able to say I'm sorry and have forgiven those who have wronged me in the past. You will never regret reading this book. In fact it could change your whole life!!!!The irony is that while reading this book I had to forgive someone for what they did to me the day I read this book. In fact I had the time to read this book because of what they did. :)~The Rebecca Review

This was a really good book! It was easy to read and didn't spend much time rambling just to hit a higher word count. There were a lot of extremely helpful insights and it helped me realize what I already do well and where I need to make improvements in my apologies. I had never thought of the fact that people have different apology languages, but it seems pretty obvious in retrospect!The only downsides to the book are more a matter of preference. I'm not a Christian, but I think most of the arguments would have been just as powerful in a completely secular context. The only argument that hinged on Christianity is the idea that we are not obligated to forgive someone who does not apologize.Lastly, if you're learning to apologize so that you can get back in the good graces of someone that you wronged, be aware that she needs to be able to accept the apology and forgive you. Just because you apologize doesn't mean she'll take you back. Although it's worth a shot because she's amazing and I love her.

Is an amazing book. It has helped my relationship with my wonderful husband on many accounts. This book has brought us closer together as a couple!

Dr Gary Chapman really strikes gold with his insight. This book really opened my eyes to how different we all are in so many ways but at the same time with sensitivity and awareness of each other's needs how much we can improve our relationships relatively quickly.

This book gave me a lot to think about, and I saw some areas where I have lacked understanding. I see, also, that I need to learn my husband's apology language, so that we can resolve our conflicts in more satisfying ways. There were some areas where I disagreed with the authors, but they certainly caused me to think about the ways I handle conflict. I recommend this book to everyone, from teens to grandparents, who want healthier, happier, more satisfying relationships.

Anyone who experiences conflict should read this book… so everyone! Offer practical advice and allows you to look at things through a different lens

I never thought before that the way someone asks for forgiveness can lead (or not) to reconciliation. A must read for families and church groups (and anyone, really.) Very quick to read and would be a good base for a group discussion.