Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection

I'm addicted to TED Talks. The more inspirational, the better. While stumbling through the search bar, I was fortunate enough to land on What I learned from 100 days of rejection by Jai Jaing. I loved it, but I wanted more. I googled the speaker and found out he had a blog, and wrote a book. I immediately ordered the book and impatiently waited for it to arrive (it wasn't available through Amazon Prime, sadly). I read this book in about 3 days, which for my busy schedule is pretty good. At first, I assumed it would catalog his 100 days of rejections he orchestrated and the results, but I was mistaken. While there are more than a few examples of the types of rejection challenges he gave himself, the book is more about why he embarked on this adventure in the first place, how his entire perception changed during the course of his experiment, and what he learned that he felt might help others who also let fear keep them from their potential. I even logged onto his app for about a week and did a few of the challenges myself. One of which entailed me getting a local pizza place to make me an individual pizza on wheat crust in the shape of a heart. I had a LOT of fun with that one, and the pizza was even more delicious than normal. It really is amazing what people will do if you only ask. Not to mention, it tends to brighten their day and make them feel good as well. Win-win. I found the book, Rejection Proof to be insightful, funny, and endearing. I definitely related to many of the ideas he had us ponder. I'm still working my way through reading all 100 challenges on his blog, but the book is definitely worth reading!

In Rejection Proof, Jia Jiang confronts his lifelong fear of rejection by launching a bold 100-day challenge to deliberately seek it out every day. His imaginative requests included asking for “burger refills”, kicking a soccer ball in a stranger’s backyard, delivering in-flight safety instructions, and ordering Olympic-themed doughnuts at Krispy Kreme. While many of these attempts were met with rejection, to his surprise, quite a few were accepted. Jiang realized that getting a “yes” depends not only on the courage to ask, but also on how you ask, when you ask, what you ask for, and who you ask. An inspiring and lovely read. I also love how Jiang squeezed a whole book out of a personal experiment. Just when you think you got all that you can get from this book, he adds something else. Great read and highly recommended for anyone who wants to be more courageous in their life.

The fear of rejection has a rather unfortunate effect on many people’s mental and emotional health. It is deeply tied to our evolutionary history, our personality, the way we were raised by our parents and our own unique experiences. As a millennial, I am faced with the prospect of rejection in many ways, including through dating, finding a job, etc. along with other life issues such as loneliness or shyness. I’ve shared a lot of the same feelings as Jia Jiang. For me, rejection transcends more than just receiving a ’no’ from someone. The fear of rejection has only kept me within my comfort zone, prevented me from achieving some of my life goals, make new connections with people, and only increases the number of missed opportunities that I can think of. However, in this book, Jiang uses concise and sometimes comical language, putting together a powerful narrative of some of experiences that, ultimately, ended up with him being rejected. I’m not sure if I would actually ask anyone for a hundred dollars or become a Starbucks greeter, but upon reading Jiang’s book, I am better able to pinpoint various situations in my life that present the opportunity to just to experience rejection, but also to learn from such experiences and find meaning in them. I would recommend this book for those who have the fear of rejection, or whose problems in life can be indirectly associated with this fear. Please remember that you must also be willing to put yourself in vulnerable situations and use some of Jiang’s lessons for various situations in your own life to make sense of rejection.

We all fear rejection in some way shape or form and at some point in our lives. Unfortunately most of us do not conquer this fear of rejection and it manifests in our behaviours and dealings with others. Jia Jiang proposes an alternate approach by taking rejection head on. Through a serious of experiments Jiang overcomes is fear of rejection and lives to tell his story. What I enjoyed about the book was going through Jiang's various stories and examples and how he matched them to overcoming aspects of rejection. It all stems from our insecurity in feeling like everyone will reject us at some point. Jiang provides a simple solution in that being confident, friendly and open is the beginning. We need to couple this foundation with rethinking the outcome (the upside, the meaning, the freedom or the power or being rejected). Suffice to say this book is jam packed with many stories and examples through Jiang's journey of becoming rejection proof! Worth checking out as I found it to be a good read. Three key takeaways from the book: 1. Rejection happens, don't take it personally, be tough and move on. Amazing things happen when you have nothing to lose 2. Most likely the biggest reason people do not talk about rejection is because they find it easier to talk about failure 3. Within our brain, rejection pain equals physical pain. Hence why most people rank rejection so high as a fear

This book is heaven sent! I've been trying to tackle my fear of facing the public's criticism by putting myself more out there (i.e. social networking). I have been wanting to expand my networks off and online. I mean, I've always had this feeling that people are constantly looking at me weird, judging me and criticizing how I look and speak. There's nothing wrong with me, at least I don't think there is. But I'm constantly worrying about what everyone thinks of me, that's why I've never fully embrace my full-potential. There's so many things that I feel like I could've done in the past, before I turn 27, but due to my low self-esteem, I haven't been able to fully put those ideas into action because, again, fear of people's criticism/judgment. I don't know why I let it bother me so much. This is why I'm so glad I found this book. I never heard of Jia or his website before buying this. I was simply looking for a good read. Something I could possibly get inspiration/motivation from. And this book, I swear is one of the best books that I've read in a long time. Jia's experiences and logic with rejection is spot on. I love how he refers his experiences with historical facts and other interesting input. I also like the fact that I somewhat relate to him being an implant from a 3rd world country. Not having English as our native tongue. I appreciate how he eloquently express his encounters via his videos and his book. Because of this book, I've felt more empowered and motivated to really achieve what I could truly achieve. And hell to the rejectors...err, people who will criticize me.

As someone with autism who has experienced trauma from not fully understanding social relationships, combined with a learning disability, I’ve often avoided situations where I might face rejection. While this avoidance offers temporary relief, it hasn’t helped my long-term growth. Due to common misconceptions about autism, I frequently assumed people were rejecting me as a person rather than just my requests. Jia Jiang’s "Rejection Proof" experiment, where he deliberately sought out rejection, has changed my perspective. In many cases, people weren’t rejecting him personally; they were simply saying no to his requests. Often, they genuinely liked him and even offered alternatives. I admire his courage to leave his job to pursue this journey, doing things that would make anyone nervous. His honesty about his experiences, without sugarcoating, is something I deeply respect. While reading this book won’t make you completely immune to rejection or enable you to handle everything alone, the skills and insights you gain—if applied to everyday life—can help you understand that rejection isn’t always a bad thing. It can be an opportunity to grow, step outside your comfort zone, and become a better version of yourself.

Every encounter with another human being creates the opportunity for rejection. The fear of rejection is a barrier and violently limits us. Even for someone like me who has been in sales for 40-years. What I learned or what was validated is summarized below. Suggestion - get the audible version. The person who speaks the book draws you in. Jia's stories are fun. You feel the moment, the stress, the fear, the tension, the release, the laughter, and ultimately how he learned (and we can too) to enjoy the journey. Don't miss his story and how it can impact your life if you have any dealings with other humans at all. If you are a recluse on a deserted island, you can pass. 1. Rejection is human - a human interaction with 2 sides. Rejection says more about the rejector than the rejectee. Should never be used as the universal truth or sole judgment of merit. 2. Taking a no - ask why before goodbye. Sustain the conversation after rejection by asking "why." 3. Retreat, don't run - don't give up after a rejection. Retreat to a "lesser yes." 4. Collaborate, don't contend - never argue with a rejector. Instead, try to collaborate with the rejector to make the request happen. 5. Switch up, don't give up - before deciding to quit, step back and make the request to a different person in a different environment or under a different circumstance. 6. Positioning for yes - give my why. By explaining the reasoning behind the request, it is more likely to be accepted 7. Start with I - starting with "I" can give the requestor more authentic control of the request. Never pretend to think in the other person's interests without genuinely knowing them. 8. Acknowledge doubts - by admitting obvious and possible objections with the other person, one can increase the level of trust between the 2 parties. 9. Target the audience - by choosing a more appropriate audience, one increases the chances of being accepted 10. Giving a no - patience and respect. Rejection is hard to deliver so deliver it without ever belittling the rejectee. Be direct. Avoid convoluted set-up and reasoning. 11. Offer alternatives - by offering alternatives to get a yes or concessions, you can make the other person a fan, even in rejection 12. Finding upside - motivation. Rejection can be motivations to fuel your fire for achievement. By taking emotion out of rejection, you can improve your idea or product. 13. Worthiness - sometimes it is good to be rejected, especially if the idea is influenced by group-think or radically creative. 14. Character building - by seeking rejection in tough environments, one can build up the mental toughness to go after greater goals 15. Finding meaning - find empathy. All rejections are shared by many people in the world. You can obtain empathy and understanding of other people who have faced similar rejection. 16. Find value - repeated rejections can serve as the measuring stick for one's values and beliefs 17. Find mission - sometimes the most brutal rejections in life signal a new beginning and mission for the rejectee 18. Finding freedom - freedom to ask, freedom to accept ourselves 19. Finding power - detachment from results. Focus on controllable factors, not on acceptance or rejection

Not normally one who enjoys reading self-improvement books as I find them dry or overly textbook, I was unsure of what to expect with Reject Proof. I was happily rewarded with a book that was neither dry nor textbook, but rather a touching and inspiring story that has already inspired me to get beyond my fears. Written more like an autobiographical story, Jia tells about his rejection journey - which is often funny, often poignant - and the lessons he learned along the way. Through his stories and advice, you learn how to overcome your fears, but also how to better handle rejections, ways you can approach situations to improve your odds for a successful outcome and how you can possibly turn a rejection into a positive outcome via a different tact. The book is an easy read (I didn't want to put it down!). For me, hearing the stories and how Jia applied them to life solidified the learnings better than just listing them out like a text book. Although definitely about rejection fears, not everyone fully realizes that it is fear of reject that is holding them back. This book would be perfect for anyone who hasn't quite achieved their dreams. It is both inspirational and educational.

Good book

A fantastic story and lesson for all about Perseverance and facing fears. Though you may get most of the value of this story in 15 minutes by watching his Ted Talk.

Half way through the book, I have learned so much already! Jia is brilliant analysing rejection. I have read lots of books about rejection but this book is written from a sales persons perspective. Very refreshing and inspiring. It gets me curious about rejection and wanna go out and try some of those wild rejection requests. Jia is an excellent writer! The book is very fun to read!

Anyone who is struggling with fear in their personal or professional life should totally read this book. I really recommend it.

Algumas estórias são engraçadas, mas ao fim as lições que ele tira das rejeições são a parte mais interessante. O livro provavelmente está na categoria auto-ajuda: oferece bons argumentos que mostram como o medo de rejeição é algo construído e que, na maioria das vezes, não é algo pessoal.