The Tender Scar: Life After the Death of a Spouse

My wife died from a rare neurological disease two weeks ago. She had been "dying" for nearly a year, and we had the opportunity to say and do everything that neeeded saying and doing. I would have thought I was prepared. But after 42 years of marriage, how can one be prepared to begin the rest of his life alone, when I thought we had at least twenty more years together? The void I feel in my life and my heart is unexplainable to anyone who hasn't been there, I think. This book was a tremendous help. I read it last night, all in one sitting. I will go back and review a number of chapters, but I learned that some of the feelings I have, and the thoughts I'm processing, are not unique. That helps. There is a definite Christian perspective to this book, and the author is obviously a firm believer in God and the afterlife, as am I. If you are not, this book may not be for you. I found it comforting to read the author's thoughts (from his diary) and prayers he offered at the end of each chapter.

As a very recent widow, I was looking for something to help me better understand the grieving process and provide insight on how I could better gt through it. This is a very fine book, written by someone who has actually been through losing a spouse. It helped a lot knowing that the multitude of different feelings I am experiencing are normal and are part of the process. I highly recommend it as a gift to someone going through the death of a spouse. I also would love my friends and family to read it so that they understand some of what I'm going through. The book also would be helpful to professionals such as clergy seeking to help grieving spouses, especially if the professional has never experienced such a loss herself.

I give this book five stars because it was well written and was very informative. It is a must read for all as we all will experience grief sometime. I picked it up because I wanted to understand what people go through when they have lost a spouse and I was very glad I did. As a single person I now feel like I have a better understanding of the struggles my friends are dealing with during their grieving journey. The author was very open and honest with his own grief. Very very good read.

I found “The Tender Scar: Life After the Death of a Spouse”, with its short and readable chapters, to be very helpful, hopeful and practical.

I met a widower in August of last year and immediately began to search for articles and books that would help me understand what could possibly lay ahead. Some of the articles, written by women who had dated and/or married widowers seemed a little harsh, self-serving and lacking in compassion, while others offered only bits of good usable information. The Tender Scar offered so much more . . . a first hand account, a biblical perspective and practical advice to other widowers and widows. But it also offers insight to those of us who love men who have gone through the loss of someone very dear to them. Through the pages of this book, I have a better understanding of the man I'm in relationship with. I also have the hope of a deep and fulfilling future with this man who appreciates that I make the effort to understand this side of him and not pretend that it never happened. I have already recommended this to a friend who is also in relationship with a widower, and to a pastor friend who encounters men and women who suffer this acute loss. It is a good resource for anyone who has lost a spouse, and anyone who knows them. Thank you Dr Mabry for sharing from your deep personal loss to help others who have suffered this loss, and those who love them. -M- Orlando FL

I started this shortly after my wife died. Something interrupted that but picked it up again eleven months later and couldn't put it down. It is very encouraging and some of the best advice I've had. This book answers EVERY question a widow or a widower should be asking but like me, there were things I had missed. I lost my wife eleven month's to the day. It was good to read how for the most part I was doing things right, but it was good to discover and consider those things I needed to think about, but hadn't. Well deserving of five stars.

This book is very touching, but it really isn't therapeutic. I think the author wrote it more to express his own grief than to help others deal with their grief.

full of love and sadness and beauty and hope There are no twists and turns in a plot to be explored here, but just musings of a beautiful tender heart. We lost our older dog to cancer two years ago and in one blinding moment of pain I added this book to the cart. It sat on the coffee table for nearly two months. It looked endearingly at me, beckoning me to its loving embrace, and from the corner of my eyes I refused to acknowledge its existence. Even after all that prep, the affirmation of emotions I felt, in its very first few pages left me in tears. But in the end I am just so thankful for this lovingly written book. Even now I sometimes pull it off the shelf just to re-read a chapter or two.

Really nice reading helped me to understand different stages of grief

This book really helped me and gave me insight into the grieving process. It is a must read for anyone grieving, and I bought one for my sister as well. She was so pleased to get the help from this book.

Product is As New, But 2nd edition.