Grandparents as Parents: A Survival Guide for Raising a Second Family

This book was like the friend I always wanted to find, a source of reassurance and warnings with gentle concern. I have friends in the same situation as me, raising a child whose parents are unable to provide financially or emotionally to the child's needs, but we tended to reinforce each other's fears and discomfort, which are plentiful. As grandparents it seems the only right we have is "the right to remain silent" according to the parents and the lawyers we've sought advise from. This book describes the rewards and pitfalls of raising a grandchild, and gives practical advise for increasing the rewards while avoiding the pitfalls. More important, it anticipates a grandparent's feelings at every step of the long process of raising a child, and describes how to avoid the pitfalls while increasing the rewards.Friends not trying to raise grandchildren expressed their disagreement with my choice, then disappeared, as the book describes happens to many grandparents. The children arrive distressed, emotional, sometimes even emaciated, and it is difficult helping them heal knowing at any time a parent may reclaim and harm them again or dealing with a a loved daughter or son, or their ex spouse, who threaten to take the child unless the grandparents meet their demands for the support of the child's parents as well.The authors describe all the risks and difficulties, and also the rewards, of taking in a grandchild or grandchildren. It described to me where I'd erred in the past and where I was erring in the present, and how my plan for a resolution would only make things worse. Ouch. But it also provided reassurance I needed, that my child's problems were not my fault and I could make a difference in my grandchild's life. Most of all, this book made me feel as if there were many on this path, who felt the same feelings I felt, and we not only can make a difference, we are making a difference.Just can't say enough about how helpful this book is to any grandparent trying to raise a child.

I lead groups for grandparents raising grandchildren. This superbly covers questions and information.

My wife and I are amoung the growing amount of grandparents that are raising their grandchildren after having raised their children. We were not expecting to be doing this in our 60's,but what can you do? Grandparents as parents is a comprehensive guide on a great many issues and different circumstances ex. legal red tape,costs,when a lawyer is needed,support groups and has many different examples of what some grandparents have gone through,its nice to know your not alone. We have even emailed the author, Sylvie de Toledo and the g.a.p. organization and Ms.de Toledo personally emailed back twice ,and telephoned us to answer questions. This book is essential for grandparents with this on their plate, you will not be disappointed.UPDATE- This is the second addition of this book which has been published since my original review, jut as helpful and releventto what can be a difficult situation at times and very fulfilling on the other.

It has been, and still is, very easy to feel alone and abnormal with some of my feelings - especially since I don't know any other grandparents raising (and in my case, adopting) grandchildren. Everything I've felt and feel is in this book. Thank goodness I'm not an ogre for having these feelings. I really thought I was heartless, mean, ... things, as a mom, I shouldn't feel towards my own adult child. This book helped me understand it's okay - and normal and I'm allowed - to be angry. Shame is normal. Thank goodness for this book.

As a recent G.A.P. member, I found this book to be very well written and very informative. I highly recommend it. To those who have taken on the responsibility of rearing grandchildren, if possible, seek out a GAP group in your area. It is so supportive, and knowing others who are experiencing the same challenges is a life saver.

A very useful guide for grand parents (or great grand parents) who find themselves caring for grand children for whatever reason. This booklet certainly contains advise for dealing with the numerous and varied challenges of caring for and bringing up the younger generation, but also discusses some of the emotional and legal issues that may be involved should relationships become contentious. Overall, an excellent source.

As a grandmother raising her 7 month old little girl, there’s a huge difference in raising her mother. The book is reassuring. Wish there was a group in southern Alabama

This is a great book. I am in social services and work with grandparents raising 4 grandchildren. It is well written and you can start in the book wherever you want. I would highly recommend it.