Words of Comfort for Times of Loss: Help and Hope When You're Grieving

I received my copy of Words of Comfort for Times of Loss: Help and Hope When You're Grieving by Cecil Murphey and Liz Allison on a day when I was feeling overwhelmed with the sadness of being single after thirty-one years of marriage.Cecil Murphey and Liz Allison write from the insight of their own grieving. Because of this, when I read it, I felt like I was sitting with a couple of friends who understood my sorrow.They understand that there is not a timetable to grief. Yes, the days and times get easier as you get farther from that defining moment of the death of your loved one, but it is still there. There is no guilt in owning our grief."For this stage of your grief, accept your feelings, Cec often says, `My feelings are emotions--they are not reality.' He uses that statement as a way to acknowledge his feelings, especially the negative ones.Too many people don't want you to feel angry. They can't handle it when you yell out that life isn't fair or that you're mad because he died and left you alone."Cecil and Liz also shared how important it is to gradually let go. In the little battles of letting go, we find continual opportunities to heal and realize that this moment of sorrow shall pass too."When you lose someone you love, you think of yourself. You remember life the way it was. You cringe at the future and wonder how you can possibly go on. They're gone. You'll never see them again; never hear their voice or feel their touch. You mourn for them. That's feeling sorry for yourself. That is self-pity. And it's all right."Their words of understanding and comfort were a balm to my troubled mind.Michal Sparks illustrations are calming and beautiful. Her illustrations were of the very things that I seek out when my heart is overwhelmed with pain and sorrow: flowers, water, beach, forest, birds, and butterflies.Words of Comfort for Times of Loss: Help and Hope When You're Grieving would make a great gift for those who are struggling with their own personal grief.The only thing I didn't like about this little book is the fact that it was published by Harvest House Publications, but printed in China. Let's keep our printing business here in the United States.

This is a perfect book to send for sympathy gift.

If you need to get to the other side of grief.... This book is helpful to those who are deeply grieving.

A great way to extend your thoughts of comfort and sympathy to someone who suffered a loss. This helps cross the bridge of wanting to express yourself, but not knowing the right words to say.

wonderful book to share when someone has a loss in their family. My friend loved it.

I gave this as a gift to two different people. Both told me what a comfort it has been to them. One of them has read it through numerous times and still finds comfort in the book.

Yes this is a wonderful book

The book title says it all. This little book offers words of comfort for times of loss. And, unfortunately, the authors know of what they write. Cecil Murphey experienced loss to a degree that staggers my mind: Two weeks after my father suffered a ministroke, a massive stroke took his life. On the day of his funeral, my older brother, Ray, died of cancer. Over the next eighteen months, I lost my two brothers-in-law and my mother.Several years later, Cecil's house burnt down and his son-in-law died in the fire.Liz Allison, who was married to race car driver Davey Allison, lost her husband in a helicopter crash, leaving her with two young kids.Inspired by their own experiences with grief and loss, Liz and Cecil decided to write a book to help others through the process. As people who have lived through it and "come out the other side," they offer their advice, experiences and stories from others who have experienced loss. It is important to know that the book has a strong Christian focus and includes Bible quotes and prayers throughout. For this reason, it may not be the best choice for someone who does not follow the Christian faith, although the basic advice would apply to anyone. Here is an overview of the twelve "chapters" and the basic messages of each. * Little Joys. Although grief can seem all-encompassing and never ending, Cecil and Liz write about how the power of little joys--"those moments when you feel lifted beyond your pain; those brief interludes when peace fills your heart and you sense God's presence." Liz found her little joys in nature during her daily walks. Although every one's little joys will be different, we all can find solace in them. * You're Not Alone. Although many well-meaning people try to offer comfort with the words "you are not alone," the authors write how each of us feel our loss in our own unique way and we do feel alone in our private grief. Yet the authors remind those who grieve that Jesus and God are always with us. * One Simple Thing. In the aftermath of loss, many people will ask "What can I do for you?" Yet those who are grieving often don't even know what do for themselves. Liz writes about how she just wanted people to say "Here is how I can help you"--no matter how small or simple that thing is. * Accepting Help. "After weeks of ignoring offers of assistance from well-wishers," Liz writes, "a good friend insisted I needed help, and she was going to help me figure out exactly what I needed. That was one of the best gifts a friend could have given me--a gentle but firm intervention." The authors also remind us that "receiving help is also a way to honor and encourage those who offer." * Make It Go Away. The pain and hurt after losing a loved one can feel soul-crushing and as if it will never go away, and it will take each person a different amount of time to work through their pain and grief. The authors remind us that sometimes the only way out of the pain is through it ... even if you only let yourself feel the pain for one minute, one hour or one day at a time. * Why Did You Leave Me? Although this question might seem irrational, it is very common. The authors recommend working through these feelings of abandonment and anger by talking to the person you lost and realizing that "...feelings are emotions--they are not reality." By accepting and acknowledging our feelings, no matter how irrational, we begin to own them and deal with them. * If Only I Had... It is understandable to have regrets about what we did or didn't do when faced with a loss. The authors write about how instead of trying to get past these feelings, we realize that "in time the power of these emotions will diminish" and to not let them dominate our lives. * What's Wrong with Self-Pity? The authors distinguish between self-pity and self-absorption. It is perfectly natural to feel sorry for yourself upon losing a loved one. The key is not let it reach an unhealthy and crippling state. * Perfect Grieving. Many people have an idea that grief should be done within a certain amount of time. One mother who lost her newborn son told Cecil: "I wanted an A-plus on my grieving report card. By the time I went for my six-week checkup, I expected to be over all that grief. At least a year passed before I could honestly acknowledge that I was healed." The message here is that no one can push you through your grief--especially yourself. * Am I Crazy? People who are grieving often experience extreme highs and extreme lows--moving from tears one moment to hysterical laughter the next, from anger to sadness and back again. Liz writes of asking herself over and over: "Am I losing my mind?" The authors provide reassurance that not feeling like yourself and experiencing ups and downs is a normal and expected part of the grief process. * Material Possessions. The authors write about the process of dealing with a loved one's material possessions, and how that process can be fraught with pain and indecision. Yet the authors write that, when ready, letting go of a loved one's material possessions often offers a feeling of release. The act says: "I've decided to let you go. I am not going to forget you or ever stop loving you, but I have to do this for me." * Facing Those Special Days. As anyone who has lost someone knows, dealing with special days like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can be some of the roughest days to get through. The authors talk about the benefits of letting go of the old way of doing things and starting something new--a process that can be difficult but ultimately healing.The book itself is very attractively packaged. It's small square size, making it ideal for picking up and putting down as needed. And the short chapters aren't too overwhelming for someone who is grieving and may not have much energy or interest for long complicated writing. But what really puts the book over the top are the illustrations by Michal Sparks. The book is lavishly illustrated with watercolor nature scenes that might offer peace and comfort in and of themselves.My RecommendationI think this compact and attractive little book would be a good choice for giving to someone who has experienced a recent loss. However, with its strong Christian focus, I might think twice about offering it to someone who is not open to Christian-themed messages.

Received this book as a present after a family bereavement and read through it very quickly. Would highly recommend to others who have experienced a bereavement. Books were delivered quickly and in good condition

Very thoughtful book with words of comfort. Its quite religious though which would be lovely for some people but not all. Nice book though

Wenn jemand aus unserem Freundeskreis einen lieben Menschen verliert, sei es plötzlich oder nach schwerer Krankheit, dann fehlen einem meist die tröstenden Worte, die man dem, der oder auch den Trauernden sagen möchte. Das war kürzlich der Fall bei meiner langjährigen Freundin, die ihren Sohn, ihr einziges Kind, nach einer kurzen, schweren Krebserkrankung verloren hatte. Natürlich habe ich ihr Worte des Trostes zukommen lassen, ihr Kraft bei der Bewältigung der Trauerarbeit gewünscht und mit einigem mehr meine Anteilnahme und die meiner Familie zukommen lassen - über den Ärmelkanal, denn meine Freundin ist Engländerin und der deutschen Sprache nicht mächtig. Da ich soviel sagen wollte, mir aber die Worte fehlten, kam ich auf die Idee, bei Amazon etwas Passendes zu suchen, was ich dann in Form dieses Büchleins auch fand. Ich habe natürlich nach Erhalt geschaut, ob es wohl das Richtige sein würde und meinte "Ja!" Ich schickte es alo ab und die Freundin schrieb mir zurück, dass ihr vieles in diesem Buch sehr helfen würde und sie dankte mir herzlich. Die Autoren haben aus eigener Erfahrung heraus geschrieben um trauernden Menschen Trost zukommen zu lassen und ihnen Mut zuzusprechen, Erfahrungen, die man wie in meinem Fall so selbst nicht hat machen müssen, die man aber weitergeben kann. Wenn also jemand, der dies liest, Freunde in englischsprachigen Ländern hat, die einen tragischen Verlust wie geschildert erlitten haben, dann wäre der Erwerb und Weiterversand des Buches sicher eine Überlegung wert.Inge F.