Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women's Changing Lives Paperback – February 8, 2005

In "Necessary Dreams" by Ana Fels, Fels articulates some of the subtle issues that are always present but rarely discussed. She explores the roots of women's simultaneous desire to be powerful but apparent loathing of being labeled "ambitious" or "power hungry." For example, Fels points out that gender-tests developed by Stanford define femininity as, "putting others needs first, sensitive, flatterable" and a host of other adjectives that all revolve around caring for others. She contrasts the feminine adjectives with the male: "has leadership qualities, decisive"-- all adjectives associated with independence (and success in business!) It's no wonder that women have a hard time understanding how to be "women" in business-- all the qualities you need in business are masculine. While the book is written with much more of a feminist slant than some of the other books I have read on this topic, it was thought provoking and fun to read.

I purchased "Necessary Dreams" at the same time as Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (A NICE GIRLS Book). These two books provide a nice complement to one another. I would say that "Necessary Dreams" is the more insightful and intellectual of the two, with a great depth of explanation for why women are the way we are - often unwilling or unable to celebrate success. "Nice Girls," on the other hand, gives advice on how such women can overcome these liabilities in the workplace.This book combines both scientific and historical evidence of challenges particular to women, as well as anecdotal stories. Very often, I felt as though Anna Fels was speaking directly to me.

This book is particularly important for young women who are struggling with the competing demands on their time and their identity and those who struggle with ambivalence about their own success. In my experience, that is just about all of us.My daughter recently observed that it should be required reading for every woman starting a new job. I agree.

Fels is a very smart psychiatrist, who addresses the central problem that many intelligent women have, in getting and staying motivated to do what it takes to be successful. Ambition often gets scattered and dissipates as marriage, children and other family concerns push up against the real costs and difficulties of a professional career. Without focused, internal ambitions, it's too easy to quit. As i did. So...grateful for her insights.

This is a great book and goes deeply to provide analysis of the general women issues in the modern society in an objective way. I like reading this book, even it doesn't provide guidance on how to get ahead, but it helps me to understand my life and career in a broader perspective.

"Necessary Dreams" is quite simply the next book in this progression: "The Second Sex," "The Feminine Mystique," and "Necessary Dreams." Fels distills the past to its essence and elucidates what must happen in the future if women and men are ever to be equals, and she does all this in less than 300 pages. It is written in a straight-forward and eminently readable style with no scapegoats. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

The book was not exactly right for my needs, and I found it hard to understand.

Wow- were was this book when I was a single MOM raising 3 sons??? Even now as they have grown into their own lives I found value in this book to enhance my current career.