The School for Good Mothers: ‘a Handmaid’s Tale for the 21st century’ India Knight

39-year-old Frida, divorced and mother of toddler Harriet, has had a really bad day. She has just wanted to sneak out of her house for a few minutes to buy a coffee, leaving Harriet at home unsupervised, but then decided to drop by her workplace to get some important files. When she gets home, her daughter has been taken by social services. Neighbours of Frida’s heard Harriet crying and reported her.The state then decides that Frida will lose custody of her daughter until she is deemed fit to look after her again. She has to be re-trained and re-educated for one year at a so-called “school for good mothers”, where she is supervised 7/24 and has to obey harsh and strict rules in order to become a good mother. She is assigned a “robot daughter” to practice how to give the perfect hugs, how to soothe correctly or how to put her daughter to sleep in record time. If she doesn’t get good scores, she is punished by not being allowed to talk to Harriet, who lives with her father and his new partner, on the phone. As her training is nearing its end, it seems more and more unlikely that Frida will pass the final tests and get her daughter back …This is a very disturbing and thought-provoking novel that gives you goosebumps. Sometimes it seemed so unrealistic that I almost laughed, but then I thought: Well, this could all be possible one day, couldn’t it? The description of the school’s training was getting a bit tedious at times, and you don’t really get to know the other women at that school properly since all conversations were supervised and the women had to be very careful about what they said and how much. The story centers around Frida, who tries very hard to prove that she is a good mother. We witness her fears, her doubts, her desperation, her hope and pray that she may be reunited with her daughter. I could relate to almost all of Frida’s feelings and reactions.What I really liked about this book was that I couldn’t really anticipate the ending. In my mind there were various scenarios and ultimately, I was taken by surprise at the end.Overall, this dystopian novel is an intriguing read, which I highly recommend if you are into that kind of dystopian fiction.

I wouldn’t necessarily say I don’t recommend, but I didn’t finish the book because I found it a little too disturbing/unsettling.

Poor writin

Frida Liu is struggling, and on a very bad day she left her 18 month old daughter Harriet home alone. In the states eyes, mothers like Frida — ones who check their phones while their kids are on the playground; who let their children walk home alone; in other words, mothers who only have one lapse of judgement are neglectful mothers and need re-education. Faced with the possibility of losing Harriet, Frida must prove that she can live up to the standards set for mothers by the institution and school for good mothers.Immediately, I felt a little bad for Frida. Mental health issues are very, very real. Being a single mother, she is facing real burnout and exhaustion, trying to keep up with work, sleep deprivation and basic functioning. However, what Frida did was wrong, dangerous and absolutely not on. It is inexcusable to blame a bad day on leaving a toddler home alone for any amount of time.In the beginning, the book was really well paced. I was feeling really excited to continue. By the time I made it to the halfway point, I felt like I was at the institution with time dragging on. It was slow and repetitive and lost focus of some of the main points we were meant to be centered on.As a mother of multiple children, all of which have had varying degrees of development and differing 'traditional' development paths, there was so much wrong with the developmental ages of these toddlers at the school. Lots of the tasks set out to show 'good parenting' is just setting everyone up for failure. I found it really difficult to even believe that something like this could happen and that took away from the experience of my read.After a few hours consideration, I rated the book higher than I originally wanted to, purely because without looking too deeply at the emotions of the story, I do believe it's a representation of the pressure and stress society puts on mother's to be perfect. To work but stay home, to keep a clean home but not stray away from the children too long, to give every single piece of ourselves and feel no burn out. It does also show the difference between being a mother and being a father in society's eyes, and how fathers can sometimes be held to much lower standards and still be deemed a good father. This would be a perfect read to read as a group, like book club. It's great to open up discussions on societal pressures and unrealistic expectations.

I thought this was a brilliantly provocative read that really packed a punch. I kept thinking throughout how cathartic it must have been for the author to write. To take the ridiculously impossible expectations society places on mothers and form it into a dystopian curriculum. To voice the self-deprecating inner thoughts of every depressed and exhausted mother in the form of an externally enforced mantra. To bring to life the idea that children are essentially all the same and will respond in uniform ways to the ‘right’ parenting methods by making the practice ‘children’ in the story actual robots.It is painful to read but only because it hits the nail on the head about about the way it is painful to parent in this overwhelming era of social media, information overload and divided opinions. It does what all the best dystopias do: imagines current alarming trends being taken to a (thankfully) fictional extreme.The book is a powerful metaphor for the dehumanising experience that mothering can be when we fail to protect ourselves from the barrage of input telling us we are not enough. To trust our instincts but only when our instincts are the right ones. To be unfailingly selfless but also look after our mental health. To ensure we feel only the correct feelings and are impervious to stress.It is a disturbing, triggering and devastating read, and I think that’s the point. It is also thrilling, clever and oh so readable. I will certainly be recommending this book to others.