Reach for Joy

This book is both heart wrenching and heart-warming. That someone could survive such cruel hardships and still remain a loving, giving, and caring person causes me to examine my own life and my complaints against such minor hardships in comparison. Five stars is easily deserved. I'd give six if I could.I read a pre published version of the book. I've known Tessy all my life. We went to grammar school together and she married my brother. Tessy is honest and truthful to a fault. As harsh as her life has been, nothing in her book is fabricated or exaggerated. In truth she left a lot out. It was cathartic and healing writing this book, but in speaking with her, I think it would have been emotionally overwhelming to add all the dark details. As it stands, the book brings the reader on an emotional rollercoaster that ends in a cheer of triumph. Its purpose, and the author's hope is to inspire persons in abusive relationships to recognize the abuse and gain the courage and tools to free themselves.This book is different from many other books in that it enlightens the reader to the fact that most abuse is well hidden from prying eyes. Most abuse does not come with broken bones and bruises. Most occurs within lonely, isolated, and deeply broken hearts. There are so many tears unseen by family and friends.I mentioned above that there is much that wasn't written. For those of you that are enduring this type of abuse, you know what it is. In these circumstances, when the abused reaches for the strength to cry out for help, in the eyes of loved ones they become the violator and the abuser becomes the victim. They are slandered…You're a liar, you're mentally unstable. Where are the bruises and broken bones? Those loved ones that could have alleviated this living hell now stand in judgement with their torches and pitchforks.This book points to a path away from such suffering. This author's warm and forgiving heart is an inspiration to all whose lives are touched by her.p.s. The names of people and places have been changed to avoid being sued by her ex-husband.

I found this book difficult to read in same ways but then I couldn't put it down. I found reading about this woman who was caught in a marriage that became difficult to escape from due to the control and rules put on her by her husband but also the tie of continually being pregnant and having children. The commitment to her brood and her marriage vows was admirable in a lot of ways considering the suffering she went through. The conditions she had to live in (terrible) and the brainwashing of her mind by her husband kept this poor woman powerless to change her circumstances. It is unbelievable how someone can have so much power over another. 30 years and 10 children later she makes her escape when it becomes obvious that now her actual life is in danger. For anyone who has had experience living with a narcissist it is an insight as to how they control, manipulate and have so much power.

This is the most moving story I've read in awhile. I know Teresa through a bread group that I belong to, but never knew anything about her personal history. We worship all kinds of false heroes in life, celebrity losers, etc. Teresa is a true hero, anyone who emerged from this and is still functioning, is so giving, loving and caring is my definition of a hero. She has taught me so much about sourdough bread baking, and here, so much about life.I am so lucky to be married to the man I am, and this story makes you appreciate what you have. I have always told my children, choosing the person you marry is the most difficult decision there is in life, choose wisely. Unfortunately, when we are young, we don't always see what is right in front of us, and when you tried to teach or tell our children, they don't want to hear it. Abuse takes all forms, and I am watching someone now that I think is in a similar (although not quite this bad situation) but they are not ready to see it yet.I loved this book, and I am so grateful to Teresa for going forward and never losing herself, even though she was buried under for a long time. She has been a gift to so many others. Her children have started a company with the skills they learned in struggling through this time. I have purchased my lame from them, long before I knew who they were, or even knew Teresa. This family should be supported for rising from the ashes. I am lucky and touched to have become Teresa's friend. Visit her website and learn more and see her pictures. Then visit her children's page and buy a beautiful handcrafted lame if you are a bread baker. Let them know that even the darkest clouds have silver linings. I applaud you Teresa, you are an amazing woman...Here are the sites to check out:[...][...]Facebook group Perfect sourdough:[...]

If I did not know the author from the facebook group Perfect Sourdough I would have thought this was a novel. I found it disturbing that a human being can be so unkind to another.I did not want to stop reading it. I can't imagine how hard life would have been for the author especially with all the pregnancies and children, without the support and love of a partner.A great read and I recommend it for anyone so they can be aware of what abuse can mean.There is a similar situation within my own family, thankfully she has 'escaped' too, though still linked to him unfortunately.You are a beautiful person and I wish you the best in life with your family close by and their love and support.

The author comes from a large family, being one of twelve children. As she was the third oldest of the siblings she had a lot of experience with looking after the younger children in the family and so she wasn’t really wanting to rush into marriage and having her own babies yet. As is often the case, life had other plans for her and that special someone came along. There was no fairy-tale ending as her husband turned out to be controlling and abusive.T. L. Reys’ memoir REACH FOR JOY is a very powerful read, emotional and affecting. It took five years to write and spans three decades. Her husband had the desire to live like pioneers from a bygone era. At one point they lived in a mountainous region of Idaho without electricity, running water or other essentials of modern life. During this time, she had ten children, one of whom was buried on the mountain. Her memoir holds nothing back and has scenes of emotional abuse, rape and death. She eventually managed to change the course of her life and it’s wonderful that she’s now happy and content and enjoying her grandchildren-as she says: “We all have a story to tell. Hopefully your story will end up like mine, joyful.” She hopes that telling her story will help others and that they may find the courage to leave an abusive relationship before it’s too late.

I cannot remember if I saw this book mentioned on Amazon, or Goodreads or on a Facebook page, but I am so glad I bought it. A story about a young girl who makes an unfortunate marriage as a way of escaping the restrictions of her large family only to end up with a narcissistic psychopath, I could relate to. I was amazed and shocked at the conditions she, and her 10 surviving children had to suffer, with inadequate housing, shortage of food and warmth. I can only admire her tenacity and her courage. While some may judge her for putting up with the abuse for years, I can understand her dilemma - it happened to me. A really good book and I wish the author every success in life, she deserves to succeed.

Absolutely gripping read. I couldn't put it down. I feel very priviledged to know the author of this book as a friend. She is a truly remarkable woman and I feel awe at what she has not only endured and survived, but has overcome, untainted by bitterness. I hope this book gives courage to others who feel powerless in abusive situations and stirs them on to find a safe way of escape.

A very well written book chronicling the deceit and lies within a toxic, abusive relationship. I was grasped and read in two sittings (wish it had been one but had to go out!), all the time wishing Tessy would break free. She did break free but endured pain such as no one should endure for far too long. Thoroughly recommended for anyone in a relationship or thinking of getting into one.

I read this book from start to finish in one sitting. I simply could not put it down. Heartbreaking, shocking, sad, but ultimately uplifting. I am in awe of "Tessy"'s courage, strength, bravery and resilience.