The Love Prison Made and Unmade: My Story

At a time like this I often reflect on what LOVE looks like. What it feels like when it is unconditional and unmoved. I have cried many tears at random for weeks now but in reality, it’s been much longer then that. I have always loved being Black and love the feeling we bring each other. The way we make each other laugh and feel seen if even for just a second. I went into The Love Prison Made and Unmade without prior knowledge of the book but knew I wanted to read about Black love.The Love Prison Made and Unmade is a memoir that tells one woman by the name of Ebony story. We get a feel of Ebony’s unstable upbringing and what it’s like to fall in love with an incarcerated man. Ebony is from Detroit and was raising by a mother who became accustomed to infidelity due to wanting to have a family but kids could not fix what was already broken. “The day I watched my daddy point a pistol at my mama, almost killing her, watching her run to save herself, was the day I lost whatever compassion for my father that remained. I gave up hope for him, for my family”. Ebony watched her mother deal with the inconsistent “love” her father portrayed until her father died in her young years. He was an alcoholic who had demons he couldn’t shake and neither could Ebony. Her mother never did remarry.As we fast forward through Ebony’s life she unravels her hidden trauma due to being molested by her uncle and her college experience only to see how her calling in has changed. During these times Ebony connected with Shaka. A Black man who spent 19 years in prison. He was convicted of murder and Ebony and him spent about 2 years before his release writing letters, racking up her phone bill, and having visits where their love grew and had to overcome many obstacles. “I didn’t have the tools then to unpack what it meant to be Black and a boy, the daily assaults on his growing manhood, the oppression that squashed whatever life he had eked out living a hard, fast life in the streets. I wished I could have saved him”.With Ebony and Shaka’s relationship I saw a friendship grow into Love that grew against all odds but changed as Shaka got close to being released. I saw love then I saw the way his words made her second guess every decision she wanted to make. I watched him guilt trip her into feeling like she could not feel certain emotions because he was behind bars and she was “free”. I found myself as a reader becoming angry with Shaka. To cripple a woman with your words is damaging. I was captured by the Love and the fight only to have understand that Love can be a lesson and a blessing but does not always result in happily ever after (yes i knew this prior to this).Shaka’s release put more challenges on their relationship as infidelity played a part but I believe that although it did not work out, they learned many lessons and had a beautiful son to show for it. I’ll end this review here and leave you with this (Note: Black love is beautiful!!) “I sat with the reality that we would be raising a Black boy in a world that is threatened by Black male presence. A world that despises Black joy. Before he’s barely a man, we’ll have to teach him the reality of being Black and male in America. I wanted to keep him safe from the world, but I also wanted him to explore it. I wondered how I would raise a free Black boy, a boy who was not afraid to shine his light, to be or do whatever he wanted. I prayed for wisdom, for courage. I prayed for grace”.

Wow! This author held nothing back in sharing her truth...the good, the bad, and the ugly. The title of the book speaks of it...the love prison made and unmade. A very intelligent yet broken woman pairs up with an imprisoned brilliant yet broken man. A man who was locked up at 19 years old watching his life crumbled before his eyes scraping for every ounce of freedom that society believed he didn't deserved. When freedom came, it revealed the fragility of humanity where love does not conquer all. My heart ached for them both and I was angered because the penal system does not factor how many lives, families, and homes are disrupted and does not care. This story spoke volumes and warned us of the dangers of trying to reconcile fantasy to reality...there is no riding off to the sunset...the best you can do is to just see the sunrise and sunset.

I love this book and devoured it 2 days after I got it. It was a page turner that I couldn't put down. The author gives personal insight into the ups and down of prison relationships and compliment the story with details that transport the reader right into every scene. I love the fact that she was bold enough to write a story that didn't end the way everyone thinks it will, not to discourage but to encourage and even inform others to be better prepared and more realistic.

I appreciate Ebony Roberts sharing her truths. Her reasons for loving and caring for an incarcerated man... being able to look beyond what he did to who she perceived him to be. But... there was never a moment while reading the book I believed she would get her happily ever after with him. I believed she loved him and he loved her as much as he was capable but the divide was too great and the onus of ‘holding it down’ too great for her. I’m glad they both have found their way and success. As a mentor of women, more than anything I hope this is a cautionary tale for young women, rather than a life to aspire to.#JustLOVE

There are few books that speak to the heart, mind, and spirit of womanhood in the way The Love Prison Made and Unmade do. Within moments of beginning the first chapter, I connected to the hopes, dreams, tears, betrayals, and determination Roberts’ allows readers to witness through her expert storytelling and transparency. Ebony takes us with her on her journey to and through womanhood in the golden but gritty cultural repository we know as Detroit. The book is simultaneously graceful, raw, inspiring, gut-wrenching , and hopeful, with a poignant undercurrent of resilience and divine power. I didn’t want to put it down once I picked it up and I didn’t want it to end as I neared the final pages. Ebony Roberts’ brilliance, commitment to love, self-discovery, partnership, and growth are a testament to what is possible when we give ourselves permission to embrace “love as our super power”. Roberts is an author to watch. I look forward to reading much more from her!

Excellent memoir. Beautiful cover. My book club and I had the pleasure of hearing the author speak at the NBCC. After hearing her story and reading the synopsis, we were eager to read The Love Prison Made and Unmade. Ebony Roberts did a great job of highlighting the story between her and Shaka - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Including the letters was a nice personal touch and gave great insight into each personally, and the relationship they created. I would have given this five stars, but I felt like the ending was quite rushed. It seemed to be packaged a little too neatly. I would have liked to read a bit more about what happened in the aftermath. Hopefully, there will be a part two this memoir in the future, in which case I will definitely pick that one up!

I enjoyed the book due to how well it flowed. I found the beginning of the book satisfying but everything changed once Shaka came to life and the prison letters started. It was to drawn out for me. However I would read about book by this author her writing has a great easy flow that captivates you, hopefully a better storyline next time.

Simply Amazing!!! I highly recommend it!!!