Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology

_Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes_ by Cory O’Brien is book of modernized versions of more than 50 myths and legends from around the world.Normally I try to avoid profanity in my book reviews, but when the subtitle of the book is “a no-******* guide to world mythology”, it’s a battle already lost. I'll put in asterisks instead.I really like this book: I opened it to refresh myself on it prior to writing this review and enjoyed it so much I re-read the entire thing. But it is absolutely not a reference book; there is no index and no bibliography and no list of books for suggested further reading._Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes_ is a book that is very honest about human nature. First off, there are the myths and legends themselves. Most myths and legends involve a lot of sex and death and violence and greed and pride and jealousy.Many of the translations we’ll typically read during our school years gloss over a lot of that, but many of the original stories went into a lot more detail. For example, in the Egyptian section O’Brien has a story about Horus depositing some bodily fluids in Set's salad, and that is a pretty decent summary of one version of one of the Egyptian myths — Horus put his seed in Set’s food and when they went before the rest of the gods, Horus was able to call out for his seed and it replied from Set’s stomach, thereby showing that Horus is more powerful than Set. If you read through that last sentence and by the end of it are thinking “Wait, what just happened there? This was an actual myth they wrote down and retold???”, that seems to be where O’Brien started writing this book.O’Brien is honest that he has inserted some non-canonical details in many of the myths, such as the disco ball used in “The Moon Is Made of Meat” which retells the Native American story of how the moon is a rabbit. However, storytellers of the past often changed around their stories too, which is why many myths exist in multiple versions. The formal tone and proper English used in many books of myths and legends is likely not as formal and proper as the myths were originally told or as the audiences originally understood them. O’Brien has put them back in more colloquial language with slang terms of the modern time (God help the scholar who runs into this book a couple hundred years from now and starts trying to figure out what is meant when O’Brien says Sekhmet was the original Thundercat, or the Norse gods are totally metal).For all that, O’Brien’s interpretations seem to be broadly faithful to other versions of the same myths I’ve read in more formal and proper settings. The same participants get in bad together, doublecross the same people, an equal number of participants get killed or are sentenced to eternities in torment or whatever, and the same strange leaps of logic lead to many of the same consequences for all involved. Yes, Thor really did dress as a woman one time to get his hammer Mjolnir back from a giant who had stolen it and was going to keep it unless he got to marry Freyja.So, it’s a very humorous book. The line lengths are uneven and sometimes words or phrases will be written in ALL CAPS, and while it looks disjointed it worked fairly well as I was reading it and added a subtle cadence to the stories.O’Brien also sometimes summarizes the myths, and sometimes points out some very painful and human truths. For instance, here are the end few lines from “Hephaestus Gets ****** Around a Lot” from the Greek section, where Hephaestus has caught his wife Aphrodite having an affair with Ares and Hephaestus invites all the other Greek gods and goddesses to watch and catch Aphrodite and Ares in the act:“and Poseidon pokes Zeus and says ‘Would you tap that?’and Zeus says ‘Probably I already have.’(I am not making that up.That **** is in _The Odyssey_)But really the joke is still on Hephaestusbecause his wife is boning another man right in front of himand even the best blacksmith cannot repair a broken relationship.”But most of the book is like these lines mid-way through “Gilgamesh and Enkidu: Ultimate Bromance” in the Sumerian section:“and Enkidu shows up like ‘Dudewhat the **** are you doing?WANNA BEAT THE **** OUT OF EACH OTHER INSTEAD?’And Gilgamesh is like ‘YESSSS.’so they punch at each otheruntil they get tired of gargling their own teethand then decide to be BFFs.I am not a scientist but this may be why women live longer than men.”So, loved the book, but no index or bibliography or suggested reading in a nonfiction book, so I’m still going to give it four stars. And then probably look to see if O’Brien has written anything else, because if he has I might buy it.Also, Sarah Melville’s illustrations are awesome. They look like traditional artwork that a high school boy idly doodled on and represent the contents of the book very well.

Really great. New look at stories I read a kind time ago and a lot of new ones I'd never heard of.

Great way to read these stories, perfect for older teens and adults who are bored of over-sanitized mythology.

Absolutely hilarious, I’ve purchased this as a gift quite a few times!

I've reread this a few times or just flipped through it quickly. Great to share with a group and always good for a laugh

Funny and a great repository of a wide variety of myths. Asks the questions you always ask when you read these things.

I love this book. It's the best mythology book. It's funny and I still reread it because the stories Corey O Brian mentions are said i jokingly detail of how he describes the urban legends. I find myself busting out in laughter everytime I read it and has became my favorite book to read on a bad` day.

I work at a library and this book came across my desk on hold for a patron. I opened it up, read one page, and came straight to Amazon to get it. Absolutely hilarious and modern telling of great myths from several cultures. It's my go-to when I need a laugh. Seriously 6 stars.

Most books on mythology treat myths as some kind of highly venerable ancient tradition, while for most parts myths were part of low culture, told or sung by drunken men who never treated it too seriously and changed the story and the characters from retelling to retelling - at least that's how it definitely was in ancient Greece, and it's a safe bet it wasn't that different it other places.Cory O'Brien extrapolates from that and recontextualizes the myths by performing a very low culture and highly entertaining retelling of them. Not just the usual kind like Greek, Norse, or Egyptian - he goes all the way into American Founding Fathers, Scientology's Xenu story, and even the Big Bang creation myth (and as he says - it doesn't matter if the myth is true or not, it matters if it successfully provides meaning).The book is also pretty short, so it doesn't overstay its welcome - something I can definitely appreciate. You'll end it craving for more, not glad that it's all over (yes, I'm talking to you G.R.R.Martin about all the Meereenese crap you added to the Game of Thrones series).

Author consistently makes fun of women, disabled folks, victims of sexual asssult. Yes i get the context, it still feels egregious and unfunny.

Held off on my review until after I'd finished the book (took a while cuz I got distracted by RDR2). Wow. This is a hilarious retelling of many ancient myths that had me in tears laughing at times.I'm currently looking for an audiobook version so I can listen to it while walking to/from work. Can't imagine much more likely to cheer me up after a tough day.

Really funny, written in a down-to-earth style, but very well-documented. The only thing I really disliked is the way it is formatted: only a few words per line, which makes it look like poetry (which is definitely not) or a children's book (which is not either).

hilarious book, really glad i bought it as it does give a correct view of popular myths and even includes some that aren't often told from all over the world. good humour, not extremely offensive or crude or childish, found it a really enjoyable and funny read over and over again. good quality, arrived on time and in fine condition, a great buy.