Faith in the Shadows: Finding Christ in the Midst of Doubt

Here is a book I actually read shortly after it was released (for a change). ‘Faith in the Shadows’ by Vista Community Church pastor Austin Fischer is a brisk dive into the subject of doubt that is more refreshingly honest than most Christian books on this topic.Fischer brutally recounts his wrestling with doubt...as a pastor and accurately surmises that crisis of faith come often not from a single moment but from numerous thoughts that have piled up over time. He talks about the vastness of space and the universe while quoting the late atheist astronomer Carl Sagan. There is an excellent summary of the crazy account of Job in the Old Testament. His experiences and parishioner’s questions fill the pages. The moment he directly challenged God to reveal Himself is included.The approach of Fischer is to be honest about doubt and to not put up phony facades around other Christians but to embrace the thoughts and the questions which keep us up into the night. To have faith, after all, implies at least a small amount of doubt just by the definition of the terms.A striking way to think about doubt is presented by Fischer later in the read. There is a riff on 1 Corinthians 13 where the Apostle Paul tells us that faith, hope, and love remain but the greatest of these is love. Fischer postulates that when we have doubts, we often go immediately to a perceived conclusion that more faith is the answer to our probing inquisitions. This concept is flipped by Fischer suggesting that perhaps love is the answer to our doubts and here, thinking about the great commandment: love God and love your neighbor. After all, Paul said the greatest of the virtues was love.I’m a person that doesn’t struggle too much with doubt although I have at various junctures of my life. Don’t get me wrong. There are a legion of questions that I do not have the answer too and passages in the Bible that I don’t quite know what to do with all the time. However, the divine person of Jesus remains compelling to me and more so than when I first encountered Him at the age of 14.Fischer reinforces the important ideal that doubt is a part of life. People do not need to be shamed for having doubt or severely judged for asking tough questions. Rather we should approach one another humbly and prayerfully by our love (as the church and we have a long way to go here) be the answer to our doubt as we seek to serve and make a positive difference in the communities we find ourselves residing in.

I spent a lot of time in my late teens and early twenties reading books on apologetics, by authors who had everything about God figured out and written down in (alleged) airtight proofs meant to remove any shadow of a doubt I had about the Christian deity that had been passed on to me. Then in my late twenties and throughout my thirties, I immersed myself in the literature of doubt, written by cynics and “public intellectuals” to celebrate doubt (and, really, unbelief) in ways reserved for the privileged and elite. I’m now in my mid-40’s and long for a way of living and moving and being in the world that has room for robust questions and inclinations away from faith, while also walking confidently (though, not necessarily certainly) toward faith and belief. Austin Fischer’s “Faith in the Shadows: Finding Christ in the Midst of Doubt” is a book that charts such a pathway.Early on he gave words to this longing in my heart—“Some people are ashamed of their doubts, and some are proud of them. I have been both and now I try to be neither—I try to be faithful with my doubt.” Throughout the book, in stories about his life as a pastor, husband, father, and friend, as well as in describing the impediments to this way of living in faith (fundamentalism and wealth, to name a couple,) he tells how, through his life, this can happen.Weird connection here—but I remember seeing an interview many years ago with the poet Maya Angelou talking about the life of country music legend Lorreta Lynn. She said that Lynn lived through a tragic, poverty-stricken childhood, and that in her career as an artist she could have wallowed in this darkness or she could have denied it ever existed. Instead, she took all her pain and allowed it to walk beside her in every song she wrote.As I read Fischer's book, this image continued to stick in my mind as I realized that this is what he is creating space for—A life of discipleship neither destroyed nor defined by doubt, but which allows doubt to be one of the many companions on our journey toward God. I’m thankful for this gift he has given the Church.

"Faith in the Shadows" contains an encouraging gold mine for those struggling to trust in a loving God. Addressing challenges such as horrific suffering and evil, God's silence, biblical literalism and scientific realities, it is rich with insights for those with honest doubt about God or the Bible's unharmonized voices.It affirms that "all God does is an expression of love," and that our greatest need is not faith, but for love, which bolsters our faith. It points us toward Christ's beauty, and even affirms that all are reconciled to God and will be justified (Colossians 1:20; Romans 5:18,19).But then chapter 10 suggests seeing hell as a widely hopeless destiny "makes sense," because "death forever Fixes us as the kind of person we are" whenever we die. For Fischer says that he knows people who don't want to be loved, but are "wrathful souls," so "frostbitten," they are "unable to love."But what he sees God's design as permanently "fixing," sounds like the Bible's diagnosis of our human condition as "blind, deceived, and dead in sins," and precisely the solid alienation that needs God's gracious reconciliation and deliverance. Yet here, salvation or heaven appears awarded to those who are presumed able to overcome their inherited sinful nature and achieve superior character.Instead, I cannot imagine that any loving father with offspring now in a destructive condition, would ever have them be irretrievably "fixed" in that lost state. I'd rather trust in Jesus' vision of a Father who "goes after the lost Until He finds" them (Luke 15). Thus I only wish this great resource omitted its denial of such a beautiful hope.

Some of this book is helpful. But the over arch or under pin is not. I know the apostles got to a place they clearly had no doubts. And I I friends who have. For myself I struggle. And that part, the main reason of the book, is actually supposed to be helpful, I found unhelpful. Yes. We need to be open about our secrets (doubts etc) and most definitely not hide them behind religious clap trap. I know God totally understands we are make from dust, and He loves us. The whole of the crucifixion and resurrection shows that God was never angry. It is us who doubt His love. That is why He came! To show us He always had loved us, and to remove the blindness of our doubt.But I found that far from help the doubts I have, this reinforced them! And in fact condemned one - if one said one had no doubts. So if you do not have any doubts at all, he basically calls one a liar. And this made me more wobbly. It looks as if he suggesting we never get over our doubts. Which I cannot believe is true. In fact, I found the assertion that he makes; that all of us, without exception, doubt, very insulting. Mainly because of the way he said it! It was to prove that because he does, we all do. So to make himself feel better about his own issues of doubt. If I have interpreted that incorrectly I am truly sorry, but to crucify others for the sake of saving yourself is disgusting. I am sure he did not mean it like that, but it certainly came across that way to me.People struggling with doubts are vulnerable as it is. Without that. The other thing that hurt was that Brian Zahnd did the forward. (No it is NOT written by them both, as the description on Amazon claims! He just does the forward.) Brian has never written he struggles with doubt, quite the opposite. And having read his some of his books, I would say he does not have that issue of doubting. It made me wonder if he had read the whole book! Or whether he was blinded by friendship and wanting to encourage, rather than giving a proper critique and saying it’s helpful, rather than amazing. And we may not agree with it all.The authors statement in brackets that we are all guilty of doubt, without exception, made me doubt myself and feel wobbly. And that is the whole opposite of what this book is trying to achieve!On the upside, I totally agree, the sheer bollocks of some forms of lies the evangelical (and other denominations) are guilty of, namely hide behind mantras of scripture rather than searching your heart and being truthful, are without a doubt ( Sorry, that just came out! Lol) absolutely responsible of driving people away from the Truth.And their perchance for saying doubt is a sin; It is not. Some of us find it hard with all the evolution, questions, contradictions and issues the bible does (or does not!) clarify. It does NOT give clear explaining to many issues, but leaves it open to one’s interpretation. Which without a good teacher and sound understanding of doctrine can be painful, to say the least. Especially if you have a low view of your own self - because you question anything not absolute anyway in that condition; and it sends you into trauma. He did say, very positively that we should be able to ask questions. And I totally agree. That is vital. I would run from anyone who said I couldn’t! The disciples has questions all the time!As for saying everyone doubts. I am not going to believe someone is a liar if they say they do not doubt. That would deeply offend my friends. And I know they speak the truth. If I felt in myself that a person maybe blind to their doubts I would pray and see if God opened up a conversation with them. It is timing that can be everything. And if not, I would pray for them and leave them with God. That is what He is there for!Also stating so dogmatically that everyone doubts, actually starts a dangerous precedent of splitting and causing division, based on one man’s interpretation that every one doubts because he does! Which could case a lot of damage. To individuals, relationships and the church. It is also a form of pride. Although I am sure he did not mean to hurt anyone, only help. But a little more love and less assuming of people’s belief in themselves would have gone a long way. Only God knows a persons heart. And the journey to know more of Christ is about God revealing that to us personally. Not a label of definite doubts slapped automatically on every single Christian!The bible promises assurance in God. And I am on that journey. To trust. I acknowledge this can take a very lot of time in some, or even many of us. This man’s christianity maybe about doubt. And maybe that is what God is using him for. To help. But to suggest it stays there forever I will not accept. I will not believe that the God who made me, saves me, loves me, comforts me, lives inside my very being, and guides me is okay with then leaving me doubting for the rest of my life. That is not good news. That’s blasted depressing! If that’s the good news, well. In the words of Hermione Granger, ‘It’s not very good, is it?’I would say read this book with caution. It is NOT a book that will remove your doubts! More help you come to terms with the fact is is okay to doubt. But read this with prayer first. Would I buy again? I don’t think so. And I don’t want to lend it out in case it damages someone else faith. I found the fact that the overarching idea actually crumpled me and made me feel more fear very unhelpful. And I am one who is open about how I feel. Including raging and hating God at times. I am sorry my review is so low. I was so looking forward to this. And now regret reading it as it did not help me, personally. But the truth is, each one of us see differently. This could help someone. But I cannot recommended it myself.