Good Nights: The Happy Parents' Guide to the Family Bed (and a Peaceful Night's Sleep!)

When I was pregnant, my husband and I went to a baby-related event at a nearby hospital. One attendee raised his hand and asked a presenter about some kind of contraption to put a baby in so that the baby could share his or her parents' bed. "Oh, we don't recommend cosleeping," the presenter interrupted, and she moved on to address another question.That was that, I thought. I had no idea that anyone would even consider sharing a bed with an infant in our society. I actually kind of looked down on the guy who'd asked the question.A few months later I went through about 18 hours of labor followed by a C-section with general anesthetic. Afterward I took narcotics for the pain, and I could not have stayed awake while feeding my baby if my life had depended on it. When I got home, I discovered that the most painless way to feed my son was to lie on my side--so I continued to fall asleep during feedings.Eventually, we were cosleeping nearly all the time, and I felt guilty about it. One night my husband and I decided to make a go of getting our son into his crib, and it was around 2 AM that night when I bought this book.Although I'd hesitate to base my stance on a single book alone, Good Nights made me feel significantly better about our situation. I think its ideal audience is made up of parents-to-be, but I was pleased with the information I found in its pages. The authors discuss a wealth of literature the interested reader can check out; they also provide anecdotes from many current and former cosleepers.Topics covered by the book include ways kids begin cosleeping, ways they stop, how to deal with other people's perceptions, how (and where) sex can continue, how to be safe about cosleeping, why people should cosleep, and why crying it out can be harmful. All this information is very reassuring for the cosleeping family.There were a few ideas/implications that didn't sit well with me. For instance, I don't think a crib's only use in a cosleeping family is to give the cat a place to sleep. Also, the only other sleeping option the authors really cover in depth is the cry-it-out method. While the cry-it-out method had its day and, I'm sure, is recommended by plenty of books, not ONE person has suggested that we let our baby cry it out. Several people have suggested that we put him in his crib, comfort him, put him in his crib, comfort him, and so on--this is the method that led me to buy the book in the wee hours of the morning, and I'd like to know what Dr. Jay has to say about it.Overall, the book was very refreshing. It was a quick and pleasant read, and I want to get my husband and my mom to read it too. I wish that I'd known more about cosleeping before I had my son--then I might not have felt so guilty about our situation.

Some reviews have complained that the book is mostly trying to justify and convince parents that co-sleeping is ok, rather than focusing on how to do so safely. With all the fear-mongering out there, some new parents, myself included, DO need convincing and reassurance that it's ok. American authorities tend to be over the top at warning parents and act as if imminent death lurks around every corner, probably due to our overly litigious society. When you are pregnant "they" scare you about everything from cold cuts to hair dye. When the baby is born, they scare you about crib sleeping AND co-sleeping. Parents: Just listen to your heart and do what feels right for you. There is no one right answer. Both crib and co-sleeping can be achieved safely.There are only a handful of rules to safe co-sleeping, so I'm not sure why the naysayers would expect it to fill a whole book. This book is perfect for research-minded people like myself. I like to read studies and stats, so I really enjoyed the authors' scientific approach. It's based on studies from around the world, yet it doesn't come off boring because they keep the tone light and conversational. This book has reassured me that what we're doing can be safer than crib sleeping and offers a great benefit to both us and our son. It just feels right having our son close to us instead of all by himself in a crib in a different room. I encourage those considering co-sleeping to read this book for a wealth of scientific information that will reassure them in their decision.

This book explodes many of the myths perpetuated about co-sleeping. If done properly, co-sleeping is actually a SIDS preventer. My husband and I fell into co-sleeping by accident, as a new mom I accidentally fell asleep in bed while nursing my daughter. I enjoyed the extra sleep, my husband and I both enjoyed the closeness with our daughter and our daughter seemed to sleep better and was more secure. If the thought of Ferberizing makes you sick, there is a better way to have happy nights. Gordon's helpful tips will help you to set up a safe family bed. He also covers such topics as sex life (yes, you can have one), weaning from the family bed, how to counter the opinions of nosy relatives, neighbors, doctors, etc. This book provides a different perspective from Dr. Ferber and many of the other cry-it-out methods. My daughter is 3 months old and though she still wakes up in the night, I feel more well-rested than most moms I know. I credit the family bed for extra rest and building a closeness in both my marriage and with my daughter.

I LOVED this book. My husband and I share our bed with our nine month old daughter (since she was just shy of three months). This book has given me confidence that I lacked previously and a sense of assuredness in our family decision to keep our little bird beside us at night until we are ready for something different. When we bought our house this year, I was mortified at the thought of ever having to move our baby to her nursery on the second floor since our room is on the ground level. Having read this book, I feel so much better about taking our time and transitioning when it's right, not because of pressure from naysayers. This book is humorous at times and touching in others--I laughed and I cried! I found it full of science-based information supporting families who share a bed and suggestions to make sure the family bed is safe for our snuggle bug, even during nap time. I'm so very grateful to the authors for sharing their knowledge and the experiences of other families who share a sleeping space with their little lambs. I highly recommend this book for parents looking for a compassionate way to get the best sleep as a family!

This book was recommended to me by a sleep consultant who knew that I was having issues with my son's continuing need to breastfeed through the night at 18 months, but who also knew that I didn't want to stop having him in bed with me. The book is a lovely, encouraging read and although slightly too optimistic in parts (having your children in your bed actually IMPROVES your sex life? Really??) it provides heart-felt support for those co-sleeping or thinking about it. What Dr Gordon does is to show you that you are right if you enjoy sleeping with your baby and that this will not make them needier or spoil them and that, fundamentally, it is your decision and if done safely, is a wonderful thing.I had started to move my son into his cot when he first fell asleep in the evening, feeling that at 18 months, he "should" be becoming more independent as a sleeper, but after reading this book, I have totally abandoned this and now have him in my bed from the start and we are all sleeping much better. I have even given up on the idea of night weaning as I feel justified and encouraged by the book to make my own choices and not to feel that my son "should" or "needs to" move out just because it's not very British to sleep with your children.If you are thinking of co-sleeping and you are looking for support to tell you that this is ok, this is the book.Snuggle up!

Encouraging book and an entertaining read. Has great tips on how to safely sleep with your baby. I also has tips for partial night weaning so you could get like 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Since I have been sleeping with my baby since her birth I don't even really wake up for breastfeeding. But I felt pressured to "be a good mom" and make her sleep in her own bed instead of "being lazy" and enjoying a good night sleep cuddled together. I highly recommend the book! Really empowering and positive.

Good book , easy read. Good tips and advice. Personal experiences and tips on bed sharing. Ok book but wouldn't pay the price it was for this.

I haven't finished it yet but from what I've read it's very helpful and has useful tips.

Great book