Making Peace with Imperfection: Discover Your Perfectionism Type, End the Cycle of Criticism, and Embrace Self-Acceptance Paperback – June 1, 2019

Dr. Elliot D. Cohen’s new book Making Peace with Imperfection is the most useful book on philosophical counseling existing today. I say this for the following reasons. First, it has good ancestors as it is based upon: a) the psychotherapy model of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) of the late Albert Ellis, grandfather of Cognitive Behavior Therapy, b) the syllogistic logic of Aristotle, and c) what Dr. Cohen calls the Wisdom of the Sages, i.e. the Ideas of Great Philosophers.Second, it utilizes Dr. Cohen’s brilliant six-step method of Logic-Based Therapy (LBT) which includes: 1) Identification of irrational thinking - which can ruin your life, 2) Refutation of logical fallacies - which make our thinking irrational, 3) Identification of “guiding virtues” to help overcome the irrational premises, 4) Bibliotherapy from the wisdom of great philosophers/sages to support the guiding virtues, 5) Development of an action plan to apply this wisdom, and 6) Practicing the action plan.Third, Dr. Cohen begins his text by giving a brief theoretical overview of LBT. The Introduction identifies the six-steps of LBT and lists ten specific types of fallacies of perfection. Chapter one, then, explains why demanding perfection is so self-destructive and the importance of willpower in changing our thinking. Chapter two gives a self-check inventory and notes three general categories of fallacies of perfection. Finally, chapter three identifies the process of recovery wherein Dr. Cohen lists ten guiding virtues that operate as antidotes to each of the ten types of perfection fallacies. He then notes the importance of using the ideas of the great philosophers (sages) to add support for the guiding virtues previously mentioned.Fourth, more importantly the text is not simply theoretical; rather, it is a practical workbook, designed to help people to know their own irrational habits of thinking; and then, help them learn how to replace these habits with rational ones. For example the self-check inventory mentioned above functions to help an ordinary person identify the specific type, or types, of fallacy of perfection that applies to them and to the three categories of perfectionism to which they may belong. Chapters four to thirteen then apply in detail the six-step method of LBT to each of the ten specific fallacies of perfection mentioned. The reader is then able to determine in detail the exact irrational fallacy or fallacies involved, how to correct them with guiding virtues supported by philosophy, and to develop an action plan. In addition, Dr. Cohen gives many, many exercises under each step to help the reader apply LBT to their own irrational habits of thinking. Chapter 14 then discusses practicing the action plan to bring good logic into their life.Finally on a personal note, this book has helped me a lot. Years ago I went through an unexpected divorce. During the marriage I tried endlessly to win my wife’s approval, by buying her gifts, sharing my thoughts and feelings, and by traveling with her to interesting places, etc. I was, to a large extent, psychologically depended upon my wife for my own self-worth. I now see that I committed the fallacy of demanding approval (love) perfectionism from someone who was unable to love me. Hence, I needed to work on the virtue of unconditional, self-acceptance.After the marriage ended, I experienced a lot of anger for many years. I mentally demanded that my former spouse agree with my ideas about the value of marriage and the value of relationships. This was wrong; she has a right to her own subjective beliefs. I now realize that my anger was due to the fallacy of ego-centered perfectionism which caused me to judge her too harshly. Consequently, I needed to develop the virtues of objectivity, empathy, and tolerance toward her - virtues which I am now working on. Here’s the point, good logic lessened my anger. Studying the text, Making Peace with Imperfection, encouraged me to examine my life and this led to a greater degree of self-knowledge.I have taught courses on philosophical counseling for several years and have taught Eastern and Western philosophy at the college level for approximately 35 years. Thank you Dr. Cohen for your wonderful workbook on Logic-Based Therapy. It is the most useful book on philosophical counseling that I have read. Your text helps me examine myself and know myself better; it helps me to be more metaphysically secure in an imperfect world, a world where I don’t get what I want; yet, it challenges me to be virtuous in my relationships and gives me opportunities for spiritual growth and a more meaningful life.Joe Hartel, Ph. D.Associate Professor of Philosophy (Retired)Divine Word College.

Written by James S. Taylor, The College of New JerseyThis is a wonderful book! If you find yourself getting frustrated and unhappy by your own quest for perfection in some aspect of your life this compassionate book will provide you with the simple and effective tools to help you overcome this and flourish.Dr. Cohen's "Making Peace With Imperfection" differs from run-of-the-mill "self-help" books in two major respects. First, Dr. Cohen is a philosopher, rather than a psychologist. He thus offers a logic-based approach to therapy and supports this by drawing on the *practical* insights of philosophers such as Aristotle and Kant. This means that this book differs considerably from many "self-help" books--and is better and more practical for this. Second, Dr. Cohen is not only a counselor with decades of experience in helping people, but also a highly accomplished teacher. He is thus perfectly placed not only to know what therapies work, but also how to teach others how to use them effectively.Drawing on the logic-based therapy that he has been successfully using since the 1980s Dr. Cohen has written this book to be as helpful as possible. After clearly explaining the reasoning behind his approach he provides a "Self-Check Inventory" so you can determine which of the ten types of perfectionism (such as "Achievement perfectionism" or "Neatness perfectionism") best describe your own condition. He then provides a roadmap to guide you through your journey to recovery using his Six-Step Method.In Chapters 4 to 13 Dr. Cohen addresses each type of perfectionism in turn. He provides an account of what each consists of, and how they are debilitating, drawing on real cases that he has encountered to illustrate his points. He also provides insight from great philosophers to clarify both the problem and point towards a solution. Most practically, he provides a series of practical exercises carefully crafted to address each particular variety of perfectionism and to help you work through the first five steps of his Six-Step method.In Chapter 14 Dr. Cohen outlines the last Step of his Method--how to put your Action Plan to work. This will both draw on the wisdom of the philosophers that Dr. Cohen outlined and draw upon your own guiding virtues. The Afterword describes how to keep Moving Forward.Clearly and compassionately written, filled with honesty and wisdom,this is a book that will improve the lives not only of all who take its advice to heart and put it into practice, but of everyone around them who might bear some of the emotional costs of their undue perfectionism.It is highly recommended!