Become Your Own Matchmaker: Eight Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate

When I first saw the title of this book, my heart sank. You know when you have an idea for a great new product and you procrastinate and then you walk by a store window and there in the window is your idea!I have been teaching a 4 Step Process for Attracting Your Perfect Mate for 7 years, and I just started a blog, and I have all these notes for writing a book. I was so jealous when I first saw the title of Patti's book. I felt like Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting, "He stole my line".Then I started watching The Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo regularly and I read the book. WOW! This is truly an amazing woman and her book is BRILLIANT! The introduction is a must read. It explains everything you see on the TV show. Patti Stanger has been there and done that and lived to share her wisdom in an informative and most entertaining way. For example on page 14 of the introduction she exposes that she went to a "spiritual santero" to cast a spell that would bring "Mat" back to her. The spell works and Mat comes back, however, looking back, Patti realizes she actually wanted control, and that is what she got when Mat showed back up. She got controlled for three years.That is the Universal Law of Attraction. Each of us is like a radio transmitter sending out your true vibration, and that is who you attract to listen to your station. Which brings up Step Two. Mirror, Mirror. This chapter is all about "What's on the Outside DOES Count. Some people may be turned off by this because they think it's what's inside that really counts. I can understand that reaction, however, the conversation about mastering inner beauty is a whole other book. To be truely attractive you must have inner AND outer beauty in balance, and Step Two of Patti's book is a great place to get some valuable tips on mastering outer beauty.I will have to add Mirror, Mirror to my Perfect Mate classes. It's about Attracting Your Perfect Mate by looking in the mirror of your date, and that reminds me of one of Patti's most perfect tips. "No sex until monogomy", there is a good reason for this tip; oxytocin bonding. Trust me, if you don't already know what that is, you will want to buy the book just for that information. It could save you years of suffering and heart ache.I found a lot of other great tips like the one in Step Four on page 123, "YOU CAN'T CHANGE HIM!" followed by "Every woman thinks sex is the glue, and they are so wrong." "Finding the right guy is like finding the perfect pair of shoes.... You want to be able to stand and walk in them for blocks and still be comfortable."This book will truely prepare you to Become Your Own MATCHMAKER.I unconditionally recommend it to anyone who is single and dating or wants to be married, or in a committed relationship.

I read this book as a man and from a man's perspective. The advice was to spot on! At times the rhetoric and use of language Patti uses is fun and flippant, but the advice is anything but that. The suggestions are deep, brilliant, and insightful. As a man, the tips that Patti provides are so spot-on; it felt like she was tapped into a man's mind. And not just one man, but all types! I guess she seems to have studied how men operate through her awareness, experiences from clients, and the study of male human nature. Every page was an eye-opener of how men treat women in the dating world. The suggestions Patti offers would be helpful for any woman on what is needed to navigate issues and behaviors men present. If you are a woman, this is a must-read, must learn, and must apply. As a man, it is a guide on how to date better and more effectively by learning how male behavior comes off. The book inspires me to try and respect women and the dating process more and communicate better.

I wasn't sure if Patti and I would have that much "chemistry." I'm not fluent in Yiddish. My style is more "Hermione Granger all grown up" and if I'm dressed up like Patti, I'm on my way to a Rocky Horror picture show screening. Besides, as other reviewers have noted, she has a couple strikes against her in the credibility department (the most glaring being that she's not married, let alone to a millionaire).To my surprise, her guidance is solid. The foundation of Patti's philosophy rests on two books. Although she doesn't cite it explicitly, the idea that your partner needs to hustle a little to be able to fully appreciate you is straight out of the controversial 1995 classic, The Rules (TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. Patti does credit Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex with her working understanding of the male mind and common ways women inadvertently emasculate them.Although both these "classics" sparked a number of sequels, workbooks and the like, you'll prefer Patti's book. She's organized the rules chronologically by stage of the relationship. She's peppered the commentary with amusing and mortifying anecdotes from her business. She summarizes concepts with catchy one liners (women are like crock pots, men are like microwaves). If you're looking for a dramatic change, she suggests cities where women are in short supply. If you're fishing closer to home, she's got a great list of male stomping grounds you can brave. She's got great hacks to keep your spirits high despite the ups and downs of dating (watch for "dating data" and "a pair and a spare"). She gives you clues to watch for so you can relax knowing that things are on track and red flags you might have mistaken for green. She brings the perspective of a seasoned mediator into the mix. So often we get advice that tells us we're capital F, Fabulous. period. Since Patti debriefs her clients after their dates, she's able to peel back the curtain on some of the complaints our dates could justifiably level at us. My jaw dropped when I read her list of things women think are "cool" to say that dampen the mood. Oops!Clearly, I think this book is great, so why am I being stingy with the stars? My main complaint is over the delivery medium (book-based). Patti's program would have you spending 30 to 90 days on step/chapter one. When was the last time you spent 3 months relishing an Us Weekly? That's what I thought. This book is a great weekend read if you just got out of something heavy, but it's not substantial enough to have the staying power to see you through a relationship from start to finish. I hate to say this, but the ideal way to deliver content like this would be similar to the method described in The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. Perhaps a retreat where you go on a bunch of "practice" dates and receive feedback on your strengths and development points? An audit of your singles site profile? Perhaps a "weekly" challenge email list? Patti has done the best she can with the book medium. This is a great starting point. In time, I'm confident she'll grow her business to include tools and services to refresh our memories and resolve after our first read. (and if he plays his cards right, maybe her beau will get a cut of the proceeds with the prenup!)

Got this for my close friend who struggles with finding a good partner and loves Patti! She was so happy to see it arrive at her door and dove in right away!

I was sceptical at first, but after reading this book, I felt more confident about the world of dating.I admit that some of Patti's advice might seem old-fashioned at first, but if you dig deeper into the psychology of men (and women), many of the suggestions make sense. Also, remember that you want a "stayer, not a player", so it's better to take things slow and let the man take the lead, at least in the initial stages of dating, to see how he handles the situation, and most importantly, how he treats YOU in the long run. You learn how to better distinguish serious guys from red flags, which will spare you from pain and helps you cut ties when eventual breakups are not yet the end of the world.However, there are also some petty suggestions that made me laugh really hard. For example, Patti is suggesting things like dropping a guy if he doesn't want to meet you on a Saturday, or suggests that you spend tons of money on professional photos to use on your online dating profile... Seriously? XDAnother thing that I noticed is that every "case study" presented in this book involves people who are model- or celebrity-lookalikes, dating (and even marrying) super sexy partners which makes me wonder... what about average-looking women dating average-looking men? I know that Patti is a Millionaire Matchmaker, but even among millionaires there must be at least one person that looks below average, right? Does that mean that you won't find a partner if you don't look like Michelle Pfeiffer or Hugh Grant? The whole chapter on looks made me shake my head occasionally, because it suggests that you're only going to find a man if you are slender, have straight blonde or brunette hair, white teeth and wear sexy outfits that must be chosen by your straight best friend at all costs, no matter if it's your style or not.But although the book has a few weakpoints, it was a fun and informative read after all. Just with all books, it's best to take what works for you and ignore the rest (or at least be willing to consider trying some of the advice if your current strategies are not working).

The sense of humor and tone are great. She made a huge effort putting in a book all her secrets. It makes easy where to start. I'll see if I can catch my husband soon!I don't give it 5 stars because I feel like there are things a little outdated, but in general is greatI don't give it 5 stars because there are things that seem outdated,

A very interesting book that every single woman should get!It's quite easy to read. I really enjoyed Patti's sense of humour in this book.

I can't put this book down! Takes a lot for a book to keep my attention, this book is glued to me at all times!Highly recommend this to anyone interested in looking for a long term relationship/marriage and you've had one too many sucky dates. If you've seen Patti's show you'll love this book and all her rules and sayings.Patti helps you look for the good guys and to spot any signs that you're with a bad guy, the best part is that she goes into detail and doesn't give you vague advice that even your girlfriend could help you with. She even gives you guidelines on what to say when you're in difficult situations with a new guy.Recommending this to all my girlfriends!