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title: "Secret Daughter: A Heartbreaking Family Saga of Adoption, Motherhood, and Identity Across Continents"
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# Secret Daughter: A Heartbreaking Family Saga of Adoption, Motherhood, and Identity Across Continents

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desertcart.com: Secret Daughter: A Heartbreaking Family Saga of Adoption, Motherhood, and Identity Across Continents: 9780061928352: Gowda, Shilpi Somaya: Books

Review: I bought, I read, and now I'll think about it..... - Secret Daughter is the story of a woman who gives birth to a daughter, and takes that child away from her home, her village, to an orphanage in Mumbai rather than allow her husband to take the daughter and (commit infanticide) because she, Kavita, the Mother, has not given birth to a son. The first daughter of Kavita and Jasu was taken away from Kavita shortly after her birth by Jasu and his brother, who dispatched the infant in a way that we are never told. When Kavita delivers her second child, and the second daughter, she is prepared to protect this infant, so that Jasu cannot take this infant away too, simply because the infant is a girl. Kavita and her sister walk to Mumbai, to an orphanage where Kavita leaves the infant who she has named Usha. And then the two women walk back to their village where Jasu impatiently waits for them. When Kavita becomes pregnant with a third baby, Jasu, at the insistence of his parents, takes Kavita to a doctor for an ultrasound in order to find out the sex of the baby she is carrying. This baby turns out to be a boy, and everyone is elated to hear the good news that this pregnancy will result in a boy-child for this small family. Kavita is less happy--she feels overwhelming guilt and pain about having abandoned her daughter Usha at the orphanage. Usha is indeed a fortunate child, one whose fate has brought her to an orphanage where she becomes adopted by an American couple, of whom the husband is Indian, from Mumbai, and his wife, Somer, who is not Indian. The child goes home to California with them, and life progresses for both families. The struggle between an Indian identity and an American identity is one very powerful theme in this story. Somer fears that if Usha, who is now named Asha, becomes too much "Indian" that she will lose her daughter. As Asha grows up, her father, Krishnan, struggles with his own Indian identity, as Asha struggles to understand about her own identity, and past. Asha is a typical Americn girl who does typical American girl things--and learns very little about her Indian heritage. She wants to learn something, anything, and an opportunity to serve as a journalist at an Indian English-language newspaper comes her way. She goes to Mumbai, and she stays with her father's parents in Mumbai where she is welcomed into the large and expansive network of cousins, aunts, uncles, and her grandparents. She is "home". Her "Indian family" guides her through her first weeks and months of living in Mumbai--and gradually, Asha sees, learns, and ultimately feels comfortable in Mumbai. As her journalism project comes together, Asha begins to "understand" about what she's been seeking--knowledge about the people who may have been like her biological parents. She has begun a search to fin out about "who" she is, and "why" she was abandoned by her parents. Ultimately, this search takes her to the very orphanage where she had been taken by her mother and her aunt. She leaves the orphanage with information about finding her bio-parents. At this point I'll stop--I don't want to spoil the last parts of this book for you. I will say that the ending may not be what you expect, or maybe it is. You'll ave to get there on your own! Another reviewer mentioned the absence of any references to "Caste", especially in a part of India that was presented as being pretty solidly Hindu. I agree that the omission of references to "Caste" seemed to me to be a bit odd, too. And yes, I understand that legally, the Caste System was abolished, by law, quite some time ago. Nonetheless, the effects of the Caste system exist today in the structural arrangements of daily life in India, so that even some small references to its dynamics would have been helpful. An example: Asha is amazed at the swarms of people who are at the Mumbai airport when she arrives, and is unsure about what to do when a man swoops up her luggage and balances them on his head and follows her. Asha was puzzled at the apparent lack of baggage carts (such as we are accustomed to seeing/using) at the airport, and is unprepared for the appearance of a Turbaned man who simply picks up her bags, puts them on his head, and awaits her directions. When I read that piece, I thought about the various jobs that are "filled in" every day by people who may be the "invisible" workers of India, possibly (still formally and informally) members of distinct castes who struggle to earn a living every day, yet, present an ever present, yet, invisible presence in India's economic and social hierarchies. Likewise, when Jasu has dreams of going to the city from his village, he dreams of becoming someone who works at an indoor job, perhaps a messenger, perhaps a wallah in the great chain of persons who deliver lunch to people in offices every day. Their perspectives on life and success differ, greatly, yet there's nothing to really put these perspectives into clearer focus for the reader who may not understand the context within which the lives of its characters exist. Aside from that, I think you'll enjoy reading this book, and I heartily recommend it to you!
Review: Recommended - This is the story of two families, American and Indian. Somer and Krishnan met while in school, fell in love and married. Krishnan assimilated completely to American life, rarely visiting India in the 20 years since he left. Somer made no effort to learn about her husband's culture, and has only once visited his family. Both physicians, they adopted a baby from India when they learned that they couldn't have children of their own. Kavita and Jasu were a young couple living in poverty in India. When Kavita gave birth to their first child, a daughter, Jasu took the child away and presumably killed her. Brokenhearted by this, she made arrangements to give her second child up for adoption when she learned that it was a girl as well. Asha is adopted by Somer and Krishnan, grows up in America, and only when she is grown does she decide to take a year off of school to work in India and meet her Indian family. This precipitates a crisis in Somer and Krishnan's marriage, and Somer moves out to work through her feelings about motherhood and her relationships with her husband and daughter. Secret Daughter is very readable; however, I found a number of aspects of the book hard to believe. These include Krishnan's complete American assimilation; that he almost never visited his family; that Somer made absolutely no effort to learn anything about her husband's culture; that she was so shocked by aspects of Indian culture when they did visit; and that her friendship with a few women who did yoga was all it took to help her overcome her fears and get in shape. At the same time, I found Asha's actions and curiosity about her biological family, and the relationships she forms with her adopted Indian relatives, credible and touching. Overall, this was a good first novel that illuminates the differences in culture and how we might embrace and transcend them.

## Technical Specifications

| Specification | Value |
|---------------|-------|
| Best Sellers Rank | #390,547 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #770 in Cultural Heritage Fiction #3,238 in Coming of Age Fiction (Books) #16,111 in Literary Fiction (Books) |
| Customer Reviews | 4.4 out of 5 stars 6,553 Reviews |

## Images

![Secret Daughter: A Heartbreaking Family Saga of Adoption, Motherhood, and Identity Across Continents - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61mozZoEEfL.jpg)

## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I bought, I read, and now I'll think about it.....
*by J***A on February 18, 2014*

Secret Daughter is the story of a woman who gives birth to a daughter, and takes that child away from her home, her village, to an orphanage in Mumbai rather than allow her husband to take the daughter and (commit infanticide) because she, Kavita, the Mother, has not given birth to a son. The first daughter of Kavita and Jasu was taken away from Kavita shortly after her birth by Jasu and his brother, who dispatched the infant in a way that we are never told. When Kavita delivers her second child, and the second daughter, she is prepared to protect this infant, so that Jasu cannot take this infant away too, simply because the infant is a girl. Kavita and her sister walk to Mumbai, to an orphanage where Kavita leaves the infant who she has named Usha. And then the two women walk back to their village where Jasu impatiently waits for them. When Kavita becomes pregnant with a third baby, Jasu, at the insistence of his parents, takes Kavita to a doctor for an ultrasound in order to find out the sex of the baby she is carrying. This baby turns out to be a boy, and everyone is elated to hear the good news that this pregnancy will result in a boy-child for this small family. Kavita is less happy--she feels overwhelming guilt and pain about having abandoned her daughter Usha at the orphanage. Usha is indeed a fortunate child, one whose fate has brought her to an orphanage where she becomes adopted by an American couple, of whom the husband is Indian, from Mumbai, and his wife, Somer, who is not Indian. The child goes home to California with them, and life progresses for both families. The struggle between an Indian identity and an American identity is one very powerful theme in this story. Somer fears that if Usha, who is now named Asha, becomes too much "Indian" that she will lose her daughter. As Asha grows up, her father, Krishnan, struggles with his own Indian identity, as Asha struggles to understand about her own identity, and past. Asha is a typical Americn girl who does typical American girl things--and learns very little about her Indian heritage. She wants to learn something, anything, and an opportunity to serve as a journalist at an Indian English-language newspaper comes her way. She goes to Mumbai, and she stays with her father's parents in Mumbai where she is welcomed into the large and expansive network of cousins, aunts, uncles, and her grandparents. She is "home". Her "Indian family" guides her through her first weeks and months of living in Mumbai--and gradually, Asha sees, learns, and ultimately feels comfortable in Mumbai. As her journalism project comes together, Asha begins to "understand" about what she's been seeking--knowledge about the people who may have been like her biological parents. She has begun a search to fin out about "who" she is, and "why" she was abandoned by her parents. Ultimately, this search takes her to the very orphanage where she had been taken by her mother and her aunt. She leaves the orphanage with information about finding her bio-parents. At this point I'll stop--I don't want to spoil the last parts of this book for you. I will say that the ending may not be what you expect, or maybe it is. You'll ave to get there on your own! Another reviewer mentioned the absence of any references to "Caste", especially in a part of India that was presented as being pretty solidly Hindu. I agree that the omission of references to "Caste" seemed to me to be a bit odd, too. And yes, I understand that legally, the Caste System was abolished, by law, quite some time ago. Nonetheless, the effects of the Caste system exist today in the structural arrangements of daily life in India, so that even some small references to its dynamics would have been helpful. An example: Asha is amazed at the swarms of people who are at the Mumbai airport when she arrives, and is unsure about what to do when a man swoops up her luggage and balances them on his head and follows her. Asha was puzzled at the apparent lack of baggage carts (such as we are accustomed to seeing/using) at the airport, and is unprepared for the appearance of a Turbaned man who simply picks up her bags, puts them on his head, and awaits her directions. When I read that piece, I thought about the various jobs that are "filled in" every day by people who may be the "invisible" workers of India, possibly (still formally and informally) members of distinct castes who struggle to earn a living every day, yet, present an ever present, yet, invisible presence in India's economic and social hierarchies. Likewise, when Jasu has dreams of going to the city from his village, he dreams of becoming someone who works at an indoor job, perhaps a messenger, perhaps a wallah in the great chain of persons who deliver lunch to people in offices every day. Their perspectives on life and success differ, greatly, yet there's nothing to really put these perspectives into clearer focus for the reader who may not understand the context within which the lives of its characters exist. Aside from that, I think you'll enjoy reading this book, and I heartily recommend it to you!

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Recommended
*by R***E on May 31, 2016*

This is the story of two families, American and Indian. Somer and Krishnan met while in school, fell in love and married. Krishnan assimilated completely to American life, rarely visiting India in the 20 years since he left. Somer made no effort to learn about her husband's culture, and has only once visited his family. Both physicians, they adopted a baby from India when they learned that they couldn't have children of their own. Kavita and Jasu were a young couple living in poverty in India. When Kavita gave birth to their first child, a daughter, Jasu took the child away and presumably killed her. Brokenhearted by this, she made arrangements to give her second child up for adoption when she learned that it was a girl as well. Asha is adopted by Somer and Krishnan, grows up in America, and only when she is grown does she decide to take a year off of school to work in India and meet her Indian family. This precipitates a crisis in Somer and Krishnan's marriage, and Somer moves out to work through her feelings about motherhood and her relationships with her husband and daughter. Secret Daughter is very readable; however, I found a number of aspects of the book hard to believe. These include Krishnan's complete American assimilation; that he almost never visited his family; that Somer made absolutely no effort to learn anything about her husband's culture; that she was so shocked by aspects of Indian culture when they did visit; and that her friendship with a few women who did yoga was all it took to help her overcome her fears and get in shape. At the same time, I found Asha's actions and curiosity about her biological family, and the relationships she forms with her adopted Indian relatives, credible and touching. Overall, this was a good first novel that illuminates the differences in culture and how we might embrace and transcend them.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Beautifully written, memorable, and thoroughly enjoyable read
*by J***I on March 15, 2010*

"Mother India does not love all her children equally, it seems". Secret Daughter highlights the practice of preferring boys over girls, leading to infanticide or abandonment of baby girls. The story immediately drew me in with an intense, visceral depiction of Usha's birth by her biological mother. The story focuses on three memorable characters: (1) Kavita, the biological mother, from a destitute, rural Indian village. Her story is heartbreaking, and she suffers so much that it's sometimes unbearable to read, but she is incredibly strong, a resilient survivor. (2) Somer, the American adoptee mother, from Menlo Park, CA, a working mother and pediatrician who suffers in her own way through infertility and estrangement from her own family. Finally (3) Asha, born as Usha, the daughter who is "saved" from an orphan's life of poverty and adopted by Somer and her Indian husband. I found that while Somer was by far the easiest to relate to, she was often the hardest to be sympathetic towards. Even the minor characters are fascinating. I particularly enjoyed Sarla, Asha's Indian grandmother, who is a strong matriach figure and has significant influence on Asha. The story explores many complex themes - identity, cross-cultural adoption, what makes a family, what does it mean to be a mother, a daughter, poverty and the growing split between rich and poor, working mother identity - and yet it is not heavy or off-putting. India itself is another important character, the beauty and contradictions, the extremes of dire poverty and open-arms welcoming society. Although I've never been to India, Somaya Gowda describes its sights, smells, sounds, and life there in such a way that I felt as if I had walked the streets, ate the food, and gone to weddings there. The story is beautifully written. I often found myself pausing to savor the choice of words, the phrasing, the wisdom in the words. I don't often get so engrossed in a book that I couldn't put it down, but I finished Secret Daughter in two nights and had to force myself to put the book down to get some sleep. The ending is not a Hollywood ending, and is very satisfying. I highly recommend this book - read it before it is made into a movie! I look forward to discussing this with my book club.

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*Last updated: 2026-01-31*